Showing posts in the category “Inner Self Defense”

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• April 7, 2020
  7Apr2020

  Centering in the Time of Corona: The Work of Optimism

  

  Life itself is always a trial. In training, you must test and polish yourself in order to face the greatest challenges of life.

  ~Morihei Ueshiba, Founder of Aikido

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  In this time of uncertainty and unsettledness, but also of surprising kindness, generosity, and creativity, I’m reminded about the importance of centering and true power. 

  Centering—the ability to access our clarity, flexibility, stability, and compassion. A mind-body state of calm at the center of the storm.

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  True power—the ability to achiever purpose, to turn obstacles into energy and resistance into connection.

  In my work, I teach these concepts through aikido activities I learned from my teacher, Thomas Crum, many years ago. They offer a physical grounding in these concepts and a path to presence and personal power, which are especially important in difficult moments.

  Just like you probably, I've had some amazing ki moments in the past month, and my emotional energy has gone through its ups and downs. Below are links that I hope will help you return to center, and to see the opportunities available to you every day.

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• March 24, 2020
  24Mar2020

  Not Cancelled: Love

  

  It's good to do uncomfortable things. It's weight training for life.

  --Anne Lamott

  Things have changed. The world is not the way it was a month ago. 

  • The pool is closed, swim teams canceled, my daily swim on hold.
  • Aikido classes canceled.
  • Public Library closed.
  • Workshops canceled.
  • Church canceled.
  • Grocery store shelves with holes where canned goods and paper products used to be.
  • Many losing jobs and worried about the next meal.

  And yet....

  • Calls with family increase exponentially, making sure we're all healthy and that Mom is safe.
  • Daily routine more relaxed, less stressed.
  • Learning to work virtually, be more creative.
  • Long walks, hikes, and rambles in the warming weather, strangers smiling and waving at me.
  • Families playing outside together.
  • Restaurants, businesses and residents pitching in to help neighbors and others who need food and assistance.
  • Reading a lot, my pile of "someday" books dwindling.
  • Quiet time-yes!
  • My suitcase unpacked!
  • Church on Facebook Live!

  An inspiring graphic from WeAreUnsinkable.com appeared by way of my sister, Paula, on Facebook last week, and it helped me regain some perspective....

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• March 10, 2020
  10Mar2020

  Training Your Inner Dragon

  

  Wendy Palmer is writing a new book on "Dragons and Power". It's about how to to cultivate benevolent dragon energy. Quoting Wendy: 

  The power within us is like a dragon. In order for our dragons to become protectors they need training. We need to have a way to keep our dragon energy from running wild and becoming destructive.

  I love this concept of an inner dragon and can't wait to read Wendy's book. The concept puts me in mind of the DreamWorks animated movie "How to Train Your Dragon"...

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• January 28, 2020
  28Jan2020

  I'm About to Learn Something!

  

  Whenever conflict, large or small, comes along we are about to learn something.
  —Donna Schaper, Senior Minister at Judson Memorial Church in New York City.

  I write often about the opportunities inherent in conflict, and about the importance of practice. The concept of practice applies to any skill we want to cultivate and, without doubt, practicing new conflict and communication skills requires some risk-taking.

  Yet, every conversation we engage in can be seen as a kind of practice. In the ones that go well, it may be easier to see the skills we used -- I had a clear purpose, I was centered, I asked some useful questions that helped my partner get to what was really bothering them.

  Yet, in my experience, it is the challenging, difficult, risky conversations that offer the greatest learning....

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• January 14, 2020
  14Jan2020

  Think of Something Pleasant: Mantras for the New Year

  

  How do you regain perspective?

  When I'm anxious, I usually go to the woods or the ocean, take a walk around my neighborhood, or make myself a cup of tea. I get out of that little corner of my mind that likes to obsess about what could go wrong, and instead look for what's right. I find a lot of beauty--in nature and in people--if I can change the filter on my viewing lens.

  Another way I can regain perspective is to watch what others do. How do they manage the obstacles that come their way, sometimes without warning? What mantras, values, and beliefs do they hold that give them back their sense of balance?

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• December 31, 2019
  31Dec2019

  Looking Back From the Future

  

  When I first met Thomas Crum, my most generous mentor in this work I do with conflict and aikido, he asked the group he was leading to partner up and do an exercise on visioning--a very different kind of visioning.

  Instead of imagining the year ahead and writing down goals, Tom asked us to imagine we were looking back on the year ahead from a vantage point of having already lived it.

  We were to tell our partner all the things we hoped the year would bring--financial well-being, strong relationships, physical health, workplace success--but in a way that told the story as if these things had already happened. 

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• December 17, 2019
  17Dec2019

  The Rocks Don't Care: Regaining Perspective

  

  I went to the ocean over the weekend. There was quite a storm and I guessed (correctly) that there might be some fairly dramatic waves. I live about ten minutes away from some of the most beautiful seacoast in the world.

  As my husband and I sat watching the heaving, roiling waves bursting onto the rocks that line the shore, here's what I came away with:

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• December 3, 2019
  3Dec2019

  In the Spirit of Giving: Respect, Presence, and Pausing for Breath

  

  Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

  -- attributed to Ian Maclaren (1850-1907)

  In this month of sharing gifts, I'd like to share four brief stories from Ki Moments subscribers like yourself. Over the years, stories like these from generous readers demonstrate how big a difference it makes when we pause, take a moment to find our presence, and offer respect, sometimes when it is least expected. 

  These writers' experiences highlight real-world applications of aikido principles, such as respect, moving with instead of against, and that the only real enemy is the one within. When we practice inner self defense, we can manage whatever comes our way from outside...

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• November 19, 2019
  19Nov2019

  Gratitude--A Path to Center

  

  I've written often over the years about gratitude as a path to the centered state. When I catch myself feeling uncentered and think of something I'm grateful for, I get lighter, happier, and clearer about my next step.

  In my CD, Simple Gifts: Making the Most of Life's Ki Moments, the story about Mimi--my Aunt Mary--is a great example of a woman who practiced gratitude when a bad break at an early age might have pushed her toward negativity and depression. Her ongoing choice to be grateful for what she had, rather than sad about what she didn't, not only made her life more joyful--her choice rubbed off on all around her, especially me. Read the story here. Or you can purchase the CD, which is on sale now on my website as part of the "Conflict as Opportunity" bundle of gifts that include all my books and CDs. 

  A Path to Center

  Thinking about Mimi makes me go deeper and look for more people and things I'm grateful for but sometimes take for granted....

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• November 5, 2019
  5Nov2019

  Sitting Off the Mat: Practicing Spiritual Aikido

  

  Always practice The Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner.

  ~ Morihei Ueshiba, O Sensei

  Silence.

  I'm sitting off the mat at Portsmouth Aikido, as 27 people line up in seiza (kneeling position) to await the seminar instructor. This is the dojo I founded 25 years ago and that is now impeccably managed by its new owner and chief instructor, Aaron Cass Sensei.

  For about five minutes, it is completely silent. I sit quietly, alone, in a spectator's chair on the sidelines, taking it all in: the mat, the beautiful space, the Japanese calligraphy adorning the walls, the flowers on the kamiza (spiritual center of the dojo), the pictures of Kanai Sensei who helped us found the dojo and of O Sensei Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of aikido.

  I sit there in peace, noticing everything, both outside and inside....

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