Showing posts in the category “Inner Self Defense”

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• February 12, 2019
  12Feb2019

  Delivering Difficult Feedback: Two Models, One Goal

  

  I'm reading a book by Shari Harley--How to Say Anything to Anyone: A Guide to Building Business Relationships That Really Work. I've also watched a couple of her videos, which are easy to find on the Web.

  One of the things I like about the book is the title, which grabs your attention. Having written a couple of my own, I know how important that is. I also like Shari's simple 8-step formula, especially the "State Your Motive" feature, because it shows the speaker's positive intent....

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• November 20, 2018
  20Nov2018

  Celebrate Gratitude This Week

  

  I'm grateful to the folks at VIA Institute on Character for today's post. I use the VIA Character Strengths profile in my coaching and training to help clients maximize strengths such as honesty, bravery, love of learning, creativity, curiosity, forgiveness, and zest. According to VIA research, there are 24, and one of my top strengths is gratitude. 

  I invite you to practice gratitude this week. Be more aware today of the good things that happen to you. And enjoy this post from the VIA institute:

  Celebrate Your Strength of Gratitude

  You know that feeling when something "goes your way", like getting a good spot in a a crowded parking lot or discovering an item you really want on sale. It might be quick and fleeting, but what you probably feel is a brief moment of gratitude. "Thank you for this small victory!" ...

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• October 23, 2018
  23Oct2018

  Practicing Mindfulness in Turbulent Times

  

  “Mindfulness” = The moment to moment awareness of experience just the way it is.
  ~Liz Korabek-Emerson

  I don't know about you, but I could practice being more mindful today. And...every day, every moment, every breath. Recent posts have centered on holding difficult conversations amid the stress of turbulent times, and I thought I'd bring it down a notch and talk about the antidote to stress, which also happens to be a way to calm emotional triggers, find balance, and regain power under pressure--mindfulness meditation. 

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• September 25, 2018
  25Sep2018

  A Failure to Communicate: Part 2--Find Your M-C

  

  Did you happen to read my post earlier this month? When There's a Failure to Communicate: Choose Love can be summed up in this paragraph from the post:

  Let's turn the tide. Change the momentum away from the contest and toward connection and problem-solving; toward learning and seeking to understand what fears and hopes underlie the views of those who think and believe differently from--and may even oppose--us.

  I appreciate the comments I received thanking me for speaking out about choosing love over fear. One reader said, "We haven't heard this voice enough--the voice that speaks for respectful communication. You're not just saying it's a good idea, you're standing up for decent process and respect."

  Decent process and respectful communication can be cultivated and practiced, like any muscle we want to strengthen....

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• August 28, 2018
  28Aug2018

  Food For Thought: Elevating the Culinary Experience

  

  I'm happy to tell you about a new book written by my sister, Deborah Rodin. Deb lives in Indianapolis and is an extraordinary combination of professional violinist, gourmet cook, gardener, and--most recently--writer and author. Her book is Food For Thought: Elevating the Culinary Experience.

  The reasons I like the book are many. I love my sister, for starters, and the various expressions of her creativity, passion, and love. Whether she's playing a Mozart sonata or preparing a Walnut Cake with Honey Cream Cheese Icing, she's connected to a source greater than herself. She writes about that connection in Food For Thought, while offering the reader appetizing recipes for dishes she created in her Indianapolis kitchen. The photography by Randy Baughn will make your mouth water...

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• August 14, 2018
  14Aug2018

  Internal Aikido: Being and Doing

  

  The new owner and chief instructor at Portsmouth Aikido, Aaron Cass, gave a seminar at the dojo recently on "Internal Aikido." It was enlightening, and fun. You may say this is what I do, and to some extent you'd be correct. I help individuals and organizations use the aikido metaphor to think and act more purposefully in stressful situations, like conflict. I teach them how to incorporate aikido principles, such as blending and redirecting energy by using words to listen, acknowledge, and express a point of view.

  However, Aaron was teaching something else--specifically  how to carry ourselves physically so that our posture is aligned in a way that allows for efficient and effortless body dynamics.

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• July 31, 2018
  31Jul2018

  Appreciative Inquiry and Positive Framing

  

  I was interviewed last month by Tom Rosenak of Diamond Mind in Evanston, Illinois. Tom helps people engage in transformative conversations in order to strengthen relationships and drive results. You can hear or download our interview, Conflict Transformation and Aikido on the Diamond Mind site.

  Tom's podcasts arrive every couple of weeks, and I highly recommend his interview with Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres on their new book, Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement.

  Jackie and Cheri are internationally known for their work in Appreciative Inquiry (AI), a problem-solving tool introduced in 1987 by David Cooperrider, known for his contributions in the fields of leadership, change management, and organization development. Interestingly, AI solves problems by focusing on the question "What do you want?" and not on the problem, maximizing the power of noticing what is already working rather than on what is broken.

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• July 3, 2018
  3Jul2018

  The Freedom to Choose This Moment

  

  Each year around the fourth of July, I become more thoughtful about freedom -- external, internal, mental, emotional, and psychological -- the freedoms I often overlook in the normal everyday "stuff" of life. For example, two earlier stories from my July 4 ruminations...

  Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness -- about choosing and practicing happiness, even when there seems to be no reason to.

  -and-

  Inner Freedom: Celebrating the Freedoms We Take For Granted -- about the freedoms we have to laugh, smile, breathe, and choose our attitude, even when we can't choose our circumstances.

  How free are you right now? ...

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• June 5, 2018
  5Jun2018

  Make That Pit Stop

  

  Race car drivers – make pit stops to go at top speed.  To get top understanding in a conversation — do the same thing.

  Many thanks to Carrol Suzuki (www.listeningbetter.com) for the gift of this post....

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• May 8, 2018
  8May2018

  Get Up and Get a Drink of Water

  

  I learned an emotion management technique from my local paper, in a story about Charles Donald Downing, a centenarian living in York Beach, Maine. 

  He and his wife--his "precious Irene"--were married 78 years. Although Irene died earlier this year at the age of 97, Charles reported they "never had a fight in all those years." I agree it's hard to believe. Their secret is that they made agreements with each other, and one of them was this: whenever a disagreement arose or they got angry, one of them would get up and get a drink of water. Then, after the pause, they would begin again, discuss things, and come to a conclusion on what to do.

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