Showing posts in the category “Inner Self Defense”

Show all posts

• October 1, 2024
  1Oct2024

  Discovery on an Icy Bridge

  

  Adapted from Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict, by Judy Ringer

  Driving home late one night during the first snow of the season, I hit a patch of ice on a slippery bridge and struck the barrier that separates the bridge from the air and the water. I careened off one side of the bridge, slid across three lanes of Interstate 95, and scraped along the barrier on the opposite side. 

  Luckily there weren’t any other cars nearby.

  As I slid on the frozen surface, my first awareness was fear. Then, as the car connected with the barrier, I was jolted into a powerfully present state of being. What flashed through my mind was: I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m going to be here for it. 

  Then, deep calm, peace, and presence....

  Continue Reading
• September 1, 2024
  1Sep2024

  God Winks

  

  Walking early on a Sunday morning, I hear music playing loudly down the street. I realize it's coming from a parked car up ahead across from the Public Library. It's about 7:30 am. 

  My initial reaction -- Pretty loud for so early on a Sunday in a residential neighborhood. Then I see a young man near the car either placing gear in the back seat or removing it. He's standing near the curb I'm about to walk by....

  Continue Reading
• August 1, 2024
  1Aug2024

  Notes From a Silent Retreat

  

  I'm on a spiritual journey. The church happens to be the boat I'm traveling on.

  ~William Kent Krueger

  I'm recently returned from a silent retreat at the Holy Cross Monastery in West Park, NY, the retreat title: "In Silence with Thomas Merton", with Brother Ephrem Arcement, OHC. It was wonderful, On many levels....

  Continue Reading
• June 1, 2024
  1Jun2024

  The Difficult Conversation Revisited

  

  How often do I revisit what I teach? Almost every day.

  When the difficult, courageous, crucial, purposeful or just plain hard-to-hold conversation is imminent, I get out my "Checklist", tips, and resources. I call supportive friends and get to work on myself--looking inward to see what makes "this" one different, challenging, and off-putting.

  I know I'm not the only one who's tentative about these conversations. In fact, most recently I've noticed a plethora of articles on the subject, which all pretty much say the same thing.

  I'm revisiting the topic today with a few of the most common coaching suggestions....

  Continue Reading
• March 1, 2024
  1Mar2024

  Stopping the Thoughts

  

  Like waves crashing against the shore, worry, regret, and fear-based narratives wash through my brain. Over and over again. In the middle of the night, day, whenever, whenever. They find me.

  Spinning thoughts -- "if onlys", missed "do overs", and anxiety

  Continue Reading
• February 1, 2024
  1Feb2024

  Seeing Things as They Are

  

  My husband called me to the kitchen window a few days ago and asked me what I thought was attached to (and hanging from) the squirrel's nest in the bushes that line our driveway. It looked like a dead rabbit, but it couldn't be, right? Too heavy! We stared at the thing for several minutes trying to understand what we were seeing. Then it moved--Woh! Could it be a live rabbit? A squirrel? Something else? 

  The bush is only ten yards from the window but we couldn't figure it out.

  Continue Reading
• January 1, 2024
  1Jan2024

  Happy New Year 2024!

  

  It's New Year's Day and I'm thinking about and visualizing the year ahead.  My friend and mentor, author Thomas Crum, introduced an experience at one of his Magic trainings many years back. We were asked to imagine ourselves a year ahead and to write down all the things we were grateful for that had happened in the year just gone by. 

  So... if I were to do that exercise today (and I did), I would be visualizing myself on January 1, 2025, and writing down all the events, experiences, people, and actions that happened in 2025 that I was grateful for....

  Continue Reading
• December 1, 2023
  1Dec2023

  The Indicator Light: Reinforcing Presence

  

  Last December I wrote a post titled "Death as an Ally" about the preciousness of each fleeting moment. In the past year, I've come to appreciate this sentiment even more.

  As you move into the month of December with its accompanying demands on your time--the cards, parties, family visits, joys and conflicts--maybe take a moment each day (oftener if you're willing) to stop and notice this moment, this...ki... moment, a moment that will not come again. Find ways to reinforce presence....

  Continue Reading
• November 1, 2023
  1Nov2023

  Looking Back, Moving Forward, Feeling Grateful

  

  My last two posts in September and October gave some context on the next steps I'm taking into the unknown. It's weird. I don't know how not to be busy, how not to be engaged in an endeavor that gives back so much. I'm not sure what that's going to be like. 

  You may ask, "Then why stop?" And I'm not totally sure of the answer. I love what I do - I still have some work as I write this - and I also have a sense that this is a good time to bring this part of my worklife to a close. It's an interesting, thought-provoking, exciting place to be.

  I sometimes listen to the Calm app when I'm meditating. Recently Jeff Warren, one of their authors and a meditator, said...

  Continue Reading
• August 1, 2023
  1Aug2023

  Unresolvable Conflict? Maybe It’s You

  

  Have you ever tried to resolve a conflict where one of the parties wasn't all that interested in resolution? Maybe it was you.

  Perhaps you acted as if you wanted to find resolution and said all the right things: 

  • “Let’s find a way to move forward”
  • “I know we can work this out.” 

  Maybe you did your best to adopt an inquiring stance, saying things like,

  • “Please tell me how you see it.”

  But nothing seemed to work because you weren’t really that interested if it meant you had to change—and so you didn’t commit to the process.

  Continue Reading