Showing posts in the category “Newsletter”

Show all posts

• November 1, 2023
  1Nov2023

  Looking Back, Moving Forward, Feeling Grateful

  

  My last two posts in September and October gave some context on the next steps I'm taking into the unknown. It's weird. I don't know how not to be busy, how not to be engaged in an endeavor that gives back so much. I'm not sure what that's going to be like. 

  You may ask, "Then why stop?" And I'm not totally sure of the answer. I love what I do - I still have some work as I write this - and I also have a sense that this is a good time to bring this part of my worklife to a close. It's an interesting, thought-provoking, exciting place to be.

  I sometimes listen to the Calm app when I'm meditating. Recently Jeff Warren, one of their authors and a meditator, said...

  Continue Reading
• October 1, 2023
  1Oct2023

  The Bend in the Road

  

  When I left Queens my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend, Marilla. I wonder how the road beyond it goes – what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows – what new landscapes – what new beauties – what curves and hills and valleys further on.

  I recently listened to the audiobook, Anne of Green Gables, by L.M. Montgomery, written in 1908. The quote that leads this post is from the book, and it literally gave me pause. I was walking and listening, and I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk...

  Continue Reading
• September 1, 2023
  1Sep2023

  Living on Purpose: What's Next for Power & Presence

  

  In July, I wrote about how I'd been "Wobbling" and beginning to re-identify myself to myself. Who am I when I'm visited by emotional overwhelm? Where is my purpose when those I love are struggling? What am I meant to do "with this one wild and precious life?"

  When I think about it, this re-identification has been going on for some time. Then Covid happened, and work and life, and world, were transformed, and I began spending more time on these bigger questions...

  Continue Reading
• August 1, 2023
  1Aug2023

  Unresolvable Conflict? Maybe It’s You

  

  Have you ever tried to resolve a conflict where one of the parties wasn't all that interested in resolution? Maybe it was you.

  Perhaps you acted as if you wanted to find resolution and said all the right things: 

  • “Let’s find a way to move forward”
  • “I know we can work this out.” 

  Maybe you did your best to adopt an inquiring stance, saying things like,

  • “Please tell me how you see it.”

  But nothing seemed to work because you weren’t really that interested if it meant you had to change—and so you didn’t commit to the process.

  Continue Reading
• July 1, 2023
  1Jul2023

  Wobbling

  

  When life was easier, I would sometimes look around and wonder how I would manage the things life might throw my way--if and when--life being what it is. "I teach this stuff," I would say. Will I practice it in times that are not so easy? Recently, I found out...

  Continue Reading
• June 1, 2023
  1Jun2023

  Tension Contagion: Watching and Noticing

  

  When I watch aikido students in action, I always learn. At a recent seminar at Portsmouth Aikido, the dojo I founded in 1995, I had another opportunity to reinforce an awareness I've written about before.

  I'm not often on the mat these days, and it's always an experience in discovery to sit on the sidelines.

  For example, as I watched two beginners struggling to get the technique just right, their focus and commitment was intense, and I began to notice my own body tightening. I sensed the tension in the students' bodies as they practiced the technique, and I could feel it in my own as I observed...

  Continue Reading
• May 1, 2023
  1May2023

  Talking Together: Setting Up Successful Conversations

  

  It seems that "difficult" conversations are par for the course these days. And even the conversation that starts out easy can turn on a dime. We're all a little on guard, a little careful, in our choice of words, timing, and topics we agree to talk about.

  A popular download from my website is an article I wrote 15 years ago called "We Have to Talk: A Step-by-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations". The Checklist is popular, and I realize after reading it again that I could have added a few more helpful tips, such as setting up the conversation for success, respecting time, and choosing a supportive location. I hope the following will help you hold a conversation that perhaps you've been putting off in a way that supports all parties.

  Continue Reading
• April 1, 2023
  1Apr2023

  Curiosity Revisited

  

  Indeed.

  I visit curiosity often in these posts. Curiosity--a key communication skill that helps us manage our ki (energy) in times of stress, struggle, and conflict.

  One of my favorite curiosity stories was written back in August, 2013: "I'd Actually Have to Be Curious!" I was reminded of the story recently when my husband said: "I'm just curious," and asked me a question like, "What makes you want to do it that way?" 

  Continue Reading
• March 1, 2023
  1Mar2023

  Breathing Our Way Back to Balance

  

  Recently, I was playing with my niece and nephews, 4-year-old triplets full--really full--of rambunctious energy. It was total fun, and they wore me out. At one point, as I saw them headed my way for more playtime, I suggested we all take a breath.

  I demonstrated what I meant by breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. After a few conscious breaths, I invited them to "play" along.

  There was an immediate change...

  Continue Reading
• February 1, 2023
  1Feb2023

  How to Be A Better Listener

  

  I was walking with a friend who said she'd been having trouble sleeping. I listened for a bit and then began to share some practices I thought would be helpful when she wakes up in the middle of the night. We're good friends and our relationship weathered this advice-giving diversion on my part. She told me she appreciated the intervention, but what she really wanted was for me to hear her frustration. 

  Have you ever "shifted" a conversation to yourself and your story when you thought you were empathizing, helping, or adding relevance? ...

  Continue Reading