Support for life’s “key” moments.
I read again one of my posts from 2012. Life Is What You Make It: Constructing Meaning tells a story of my aunt Mary (Mimi, as we lovingly called her). She was a special person in my life, an encourager, teacher, loving supporter, and never-ending inspiration.
As I read the 2012 post, one paragraph took me aback....
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
— Robert Brault
You may have noticed I like to write about gratitude. I think it's because gratitude is one way I center myself, remember what's important in my life, and return to the present moment.
This time of year, in particular, as we head into Thanksgiving and the December holidays, I ask myself and my readers to think about the ways we are already blessed, things we may be blind to because they’re always there, and to name them....
As I ponder the upcoming month, July 4--Independence Day--comes to mind. While I've written hundreds of posts over the years, my July posts suggest a similar theme--the freedoms we take for granted and how to remember these gifts every day.
Today I'm thinking about how we sometimes exercise our freedoms in ways that limit or harm, and what to do about that. In the spirit of free will and the constitutional freedoms we enjoy in the U.S., am I too impulsive? Am I jeopardizing the very freedoms I cherish and that hold our communities together?
Are these fair questions?....
Self-imposed limits often instigate Ki Moments. When my ki feels stuck or restricted, I find it helps to ask how much of the restriction is of my own making? We are always making moment-to-moment choices about how to express our ki – whether and when to communicate about a conflict, for instance.
My frustration with a neighbor and his new drums caused me to examine my options, when I found my ki stuck wondering whether and how to communicate....
Traveler, your footprints
Are the path and nothing more;
Traveler, there is no path,
The path is made by walking.
~ Antonio Machado, excerpt from Traveler, There Is No Path
(Trans. Asa Cusack)
Last summer my friend Melodee related a story about centering that stuck with me. When Melodee was a teacher she had a centering bell she'd ring for her students as they returned from recess.
As they flowed back into the four walls of her classroom, wired with frenetic energy, she'd let them get somewhat settled then ring the bell. She'd explained the purpose on day one, so they knew the ringing tone meant for them to take a breath, exhale, and go to the quiet, centered place that was uniquely theirs.
This time of year is alive with energy--frenetic and flowing, excited and solemn, relished and resisted. All kinds of ki flowing in, out and around, so much that we're not sure what to do with it all. Families celebrating, children anticipating, workplaces buzzing with holiday joy, preparations, and even fear about what the holidays might bring this year.
Recently I was reminded of the Antonio Machado poem, Traveler, There Is No Path, an excerpt of which begins this post, and--for me--its reflection on living a more intentional life....
From early on in my professional career, and probably my whole life, I've been thankful that I'm thankful. Because I'm an aikidoist who teaches conflict skills, and because aikido teaches that the attack can be a gift when we embrace the energy, my ability to notice what's good has grown.
My first book, Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict consists of 28 stories dedicated to this theme. And my blog is filled with posts about gratitude as a path to center, and the people in my life who have shown me how to be thankful, even when there seems to be nothing to be thankful for.
And there are days, of course, when I forget to practice. I don't start the day with gratitude and I don't say "Thank you very much," when someone gets in my way. And that day isn't usually as easy or as fun. I notice what's hard and what's not good in my life, instead of what is.
But because I do practice most days, I usually find my way back. And sometimes I get reminded.
I was reminded recently by a movie....
I have the pleasure today of introducing you to a cool dude and important person on my Power & Presence team--Kirk Roberts. Like my priceless V.A. Tracie Shroyer, Kirk is a longtime partner who keeps my outward facing image looking good in the world. Kirk designed my Power & Presence website, and makes sure it stays friendly, timely, and relevant.
Kirk is all about clarity, simplicity and power--in his designs and in his writing.
Kirk is also a clever and insightful blogger. His interests often coincide with my own--centered presence, clarity of purpose, and the power of curiosity--and I thought you'd enjoy his recent post, "Rock Balancing And The Art Of Presentation"....
The way we know is fateful... Human beings and organizations move in the direction of what they inquire about.
~ Jane Magruder Watkins, Appreciative Inquiry Theory and Practice
Tell me a story about the best Christmas, best Hanukkah, best holiday season you ever had. What made it so wonderful? Who was involved? What about that time makes you remember it so vividly? How did you contribute to its special qualities? Write the story down if you like.
As you think about this special time of year, what do you think is at the heart of the holiday you celebrate? Can you look for that this season?
Sometimes, when the world feels upside down, fear and anxiety dominate our thoughts, and we forget to appreciate the gifts all around us, and especially the beauty and joy of this season. It happens to me, too. Just like any practice, however, we can get better at shifting toward what's good, what works, what is there to be loved and appreciated....
Simple Gifts: Making the Most of Life's Ki Moments is a CD I created several years ago about taking time to notice the moment we're in rather than rushing throught it to get to the next. I've been listening to it recently--a respite from election and pandemic worries and a reminder to return to the present moment, the Now.
As we approach the holidays, I'm giving away some CDs to emphasize how crucial it is these days to take a moment (or several) to come back from the distractions that call us away from ourselves....
How do you regain perspective?
When I'm anxious, I usually go to the woods or the ocean, take a walk around my neighborhood, or make myself a cup of tea. I get out of that little corner of my mind that likes to obsess about what could go wrong, and instead look for what's right. I find a lot of beauty--in nature and in people--if I can change the filter on my viewing lens.
Another way I can regain perspective is to watch what others do. How do they manage the obstacles that come their way, sometimes without warning? What mantras, values, and beliefs do they hold that give them back their sense of balance?
The title of my book, Turn Enemies Into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace, says it all. Through interactive presentations and individual coaching, I’ll help you transform conflict by changing your relationship to it. Aikido is the metaphor we’ll use to become more intentional and less reactive, to communicate directly and respectfully, and to create your life and work on purpose.
Ki (pronounced “key”) is Japanese for universal energy or life force; it’s the central syllable in Aikido and the symbol you see in my logo.