Maryland State Trooper Jordan walked up to my car window, announced himself, and asked if he knew why I had been stopped.

Yes, officer, I was speeding.

Did I know the speed limit?

I said yes, 55, and I was going 68.

He said I clocked you at 67. And actually the speed zone is 50.

I said I thought it was 55, and opened my mouth to say something else, but immediately closed it. I was in the wrong, and it didn’t matter whether it was 55 or 50.

He went on to explain that the speed zone drops quickly in that area.

He asked me where we were going, I told him…. He asked me if we were on vacation, and I said yes,

He said wait here.

We waited about 15 minutes.

He came back with a piece of paper in his hand, folded it up and gave me a gentle admonishment and said that he was only giving me a warning this time. He said, however, that the warning will go into the system and if I should get another warning it will be a ticket. I did not want that, said he, because it was an expensive ticket and it would probably affect my insurance and the rest of our vacation.

I wanted to get out of the car and hug him. But I remained centered and thanked him profusely. Jim thanked him, too, from the passenger seat.

That 15 minute stop the second day of our two-week vacation was a huge gift. Trooper Jordan could have given me a ticket. And he didn’t.

Kindness

From that moment on, I stuck to the speed limit, well, maybe a little bit over now and then to pass someone but I stuck to my guns. I was afraid of course that I would get stopped again, but I also did it out of respect for trooper Jordan.

He was a kind man.

There were two troopers but only trooper Jordan spoke. The other was backup. I felt strongly for the terrible situations these troopers face day-to-day just doing their job when who knows who might be behind the wheel of the car they're stopping.

And I was kind, too. I was respectful from the get-go.

Interestingly, I thought Trooper Jordan changed once he announced himself and asked me for my identification and queried me about why he pulled me over.

When You Change

I think it helped that I was not defensive. I smiled, I centered myself, and I thought about a quotation I’m fond of – when you change, everything changes.

As soon as I stopped the car and rolled down my window, I stopped being nervous and upset and chose to be respectful, honoring his position and taking responsibility. And soon he started smiling and talking to me, one human being to another.

He was given the opportunity to be magnanimous, kind, and considerate. And he took it.

Jim and I went on then with our trip, admitting to ourselves that at the slower speed we were having a better time. We actually saw the trees, the fields, and the passing cars, and we were more relaxed and present.

Instead of needing to get somewhere as fast as possible, we recognized we were already there.