Ki Moments Blog

Support for life’s “key” moments.

Showing posts in the category “Aikido”

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  • August 14, 2018

    Internal Aikido: Being and Doing

    Internal Aikido: Being and Doing

    The new owner and chief instructor at Portsmouth Aikido, Aaron Cass, gave a seminar at the dojo recently on "Internal Aikido." It was enlightening, and fun. You may say this is what I do, and to some extent you'd be correct. I help individuals and organizations use the aikido metaphor to think and act more purposefully in stressful situations, like conflict. I teach them how to incorporate aikido principles, such as blending and redirecting energy by using words to listen, acknowledge, and express a point of view.

    However, Aaron was teaching something else--specifically  how to carry ourselves physically so that our posture is aligned in a way that allows for efficient and effortless body dynamics.

  • July 31, 2018

    Appreciative Inquiry and Positive Framing

    Appreciative Inquiry and Positive Framing

    I was interviewed last month by Tom Rosenak of Diamond Mind in Evanston, Illinois. Tom helps people engage in transformative conversations in order to strengthen relationships and drive results. You can hear or download our interview, Conflict Transformation and Aikido on the Diamond Mind site.

    Tom's podcasts arrive every couple of weeks, and I highly recommend his interview with Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres on their new book, Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement.

    Jackie and Cheri are internationally known for their work in Appreciative Inquiry (AI), a problem-solving tool introduced in 1987 by David Cooperrider, known for his contributions in the fields of leadership, change management, and organization development. Interestingly, AI solves problems by focusing on the question "What do you want?" and not on the problem, maximizing the power of noticing what is already working rather than on what is broken.

  • April 10, 2018

    Unlikely Friendships: Reaching Out, Finding Connection

    Unlikely Friendships: Reaching Out, Finding Connection


    Hi -- I'm not writing much today. Instead I'm sharing two YouTube videos, each 4-5 minutes in length. 

    I'm indebted to a Ki Moments subscriber for the first one. The title--"An Unlikely Friendship" reminded her of the title of my first book, Unlikely Teachers, and so she sent it my way.

    Donna and Bob--An Unlikely Friendship unlikely-friendships-donna-and-bob

    The second I found when I plugged "Unlikely Friendships" into the Youtube search engine, just to see what else I might find. Apparently there are quite a lot of unlikely friendships out there, but this one touched me because of the intergenerational nature of it....

  • March 27, 2018

    Aikido Off the Mat: Tenkan and Acknowledgment

    Aikido Off the Mat: Tenkan and Acknowledgment

    (from my new book, Turn Enemies Into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace, to be published April 2019, by Career Press)

    Quite a few Ki Moments posts over the years have focused on the power of acknowledgment in difficult conversations. I've even called it the "secret sauce" on occasion, because acknowledgment demonstrates respect for my partner’s position, and respect is a powerful thing.

    In aikido, there’s a body movement called tenkan, most often translated as “convert” or “change.” Tenkan “converts” the aikido attack into energy I can use, and is a physical embodiment of acknowledgment...

  • February 27, 2018

    From Adversaries to Partners: Resolving Co-worker Conflict

    From Adversaries to Partners: Resolving Co-worker Conflict

    In my last two posts, I asked you to help me name my new book. And I received so much useful feedback--thank you! I asked for specific suggestions for the title, as well as your vote on the top four. I got all of that and more. I received some really helpful advice. For example:

    • I believe the title needs to clearly say what the benefit is to me. It has to get me to go, "Hmmm....," tweak my curiosity and compel me to to pick it up.
    • I wouldn't limit it to managers. If it says "leaders," both leaders and managers will think it applies to them.
    • The focus should be on WHAT you want to achieve through the book versus HOW. So I'm thinking Aikido isn't necessary for the title despite how integral it is to your message. 
    • My "take" is including aikido in your title will distinguish your book from the profusion of books in this field just as aikido distinguishes you professionally.
    • The title should make a prospective reader feel like the author "gets them" and knows what they most need and want and fear and hope for.
    • The word ‘aikido’ begins to define the book. It would be attractive for a certain segment of the population but might not be helpful for a broader audience.
    • "From Adversaries to Partners" paints a vivid picture of the issue (adversaries) to a desired solution (partners), which is much more powerful than just 'getting along'.
    • It sounds like the idea is to train the employees to resolve their own conflict so the manager no longer has to be in the middle.
    • As you look at all those titles, remember to breathe and pick the one that most resonates for you!

    It was tough, because some viewpoints directly contradicted others--just like life! ...

  • January 30, 2018

    Requesting Assistance -- Name That Book!

    Requesting Assistance -- Name That Book!

    I'm writing a new book. In fact, it's written. But there's still a lot to do--like the title. I have a working title, but I'm not completely satisfied with it. As I swam laps this morning, I thought: I'll do a bit of crowdsourcing and ask my Ki Moments subscribers what they think of the title, and invite them to offer alternatives.

    To help you, below are some facts about the book, a question, and an excerpt. You can offer any suggestions in the "Let’s discuss this post in the comments" section at the bottom of the post on my website, or you can send me an email at judy@judyringer.com. And I'll send everyone who replies a copy of my new book (maybe with your title!) when it's published. Thanking you in advance.... here we go....

  • October 24, 2017

    Conflict, Creativity, and Compassion

    Conflict, Creativity, and Compassion

    You have more power than you think.
    When you change, everything changes.

    Recently I gave a 30-minute presentation on Conflict, Creativity, and Compassion for Creative Mornings Portsmouth. It helps to add a little creativity and compassion to conflict, don't you agree?

    I get inspired by what I teach -- how to use the energy of conflict instead of fighting it. How to work with your opponents and turn them into partners for problem solving. How to think a little differently....

  • October 10, 2017

    Center As You Enter: Creating Centering Practices That Stick

    Center As You Enter: Creating Centering Practices That Stick

    I open my eyes. Morning.

    Quiet time. Meditation.

    I  relish this moment. Yes, there is much to do. The difficult conversation ahead. The pile of work sitting on my desk and on my mind. The emails to return. The seminar to design. Do I have time?

    Yes. I will make time. I will sit quietly and do nothing. Nothing except to notice the breath coming in and going out of my body. The thoughts, the physical awareness, the birds chirping outside my window. All coming and going, like the breath.

    Wendy Palmer, a teacher of aikido and leadership presence categorizes the many ways to practice centering into three areas: committed practice, ritual practice, and spontaneous practice.

  • September 26, 2017

    The Language of Centering

    The Language of Centering

    The driver cut me off without warning. We almost collided. My pulse accelerated, my adrenaline pumped, my anger went from 0 to 60 in less than a second.

    I breathe in, exhale, and choose to center. At first I'm only about 20 percent centered. I keep breathing. 30%. I think: what rational explanation would allow for that driver to do what he did? 40%. More breathing. 50%. Smile to myself--everything’s okay. No damage done. 75%. It’s over, without me doing anything I’ll regret later. Life is good. 100%.

    The language and practice of centering is one in which some people are fairly fluent. Yet even those who understand the concept are often unsure exactly how to get there on purpose.

  • September 12, 2017

    The Secret Ingredient in Difficult Conversations: Acknowledgment

    The Secret Ingredient in Difficult Conversations: Acknowledgment


    I'm writing a new book about how to manage and resolve employee conflict. One of the key ingredients in working with conflict and possibly the most underutilized communication skill is acknowledgment. Acknowledgment is the secret to turning difficult conversations around.

    Because it demonstrates a willingness and ability to reflect back a view or thought process that is different and possibly in opposition to your own, acknowledgment makes a powerful statement. It says, “I heard you, I’m trying to understand, and this is the meaning I’m making out of what I heard.” It shows respect and a disposition toward resolution....

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