Ki Moments Blog

Support for life’s “key” moments.

  • February 1, 2024

    Seeing Things as They Are

    Seeing Things as They Are

    My husband called me to the kitchen window a few days ago and asked me what I thought was attached to (and hanging from) the squirrel's nest in the bushes that line our driveway. It looked like a dead rabbit, but it couldn't be, right? Too heavy! We stared at the thing for several minutes trying to understand what we were seeing. Then it moved--Woh! Could it be a live rabbit? A squirrel? Something else? 

    The bush is only ten yards from the window but we couldn't figure it out.

  • January 1, 2024

    Happy New Year 2024!

    Happy New Year 2024!

    It's New Year's Day and I'm thinking about and visualizing the year ahead.  My friend and mentor, author Thomas Crum, introduced an experience at one of his Magic trainings many years back. We were asked to imagine ourselves a year ahead and to write down all the things we were grateful for that had happened in the year just gone by. 

    So... if I were to do that exercise today (and I did), I would be visualizing myself on January 1, 2025, and writing down all the events, experiences, people, and actions that happened in 2025 that I was grateful for....

  • December 1, 2023

    The Indicator Light: Reinforcing Presence

    The Indicator Light: Reinforcing Presence

    Last December I wrote a post titled "Death as an Ally" about the preciousness of each fleeting moment. In the past year, I've come to appreciate this sentiment even more.

    As you move into the month of December with its accompanying demands on your time--the cards, parties, family visits, joys and conflicts--maybe take a moment each day (oftener if you're willing) to stop and notice this moment, this...ki... moment, a moment that will not come again. Find ways to reinforce presence....

  • November 1, 2023

    Looking Back, Moving Forward, Feeling Grateful

    Looking Back, Moving Forward, Feeling Grateful

    My last two posts in September and October gave some context on the next steps I'm taking into the unknown. It's weird. I don't know how not to be busy, how not to be engaged in an endeavor that gives back so much. I'm not sure what that's going to be like. 

    You may ask, "Then why stop?" And I'm not totally sure of the answer. I love what I do - I still have some work as I write this - and I also have a sense that this is a good time to bring this part of my worklife to a close. It's an interesting, thought-provoking, exciting place to be.

    I sometimes listen to the Calm app when I'm meditating. Recently Jeff Warren, one of their authors and a meditator, said...

  • October 1, 2023

    The Bend in the Road

    The Bend in the Road

    When I left Queens my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road. I thought I could see along it for many a milestone. Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does. It has a fascination of its own, that bend, Marilla. I wonder how the road beyond it goes – what there is of green glory and soft, checkered light and shadows – what new landscapes – what new beauties – what curves and hills and valleys further on.

    I recently listened to the audiobook, Anne of Green Gables, by L.M. Montgomery, written in 1908. The quote that leads this post is from the book, and it literally gave me pause. I was walking and listening, and I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk...

  • September 1, 2023

    Living on Purpose: What's Next for Power & Presence

    Living on Purpose: What's Next for Power & Presence

    In July, I wrote about how I'd been "Wobbling" and beginning to re-identify myself to myself. Who am I when I'm visited by emotional overwhelm? Where is my purpose when those I love are struggling? What am I meant to do "with this one wild and precious life?"

    When I think about it, this re-identification has been going on for some time. Then Covid happened, and work and life, and world, were transformed, and I began spending more time on these bigger questions...

  • August 1, 2023

    Unresolvable Conflict? Maybe It’s You

    Unresolvable Conflict? Maybe It’s You

    Have you ever tried to resolve a conflict where one of the parties wasn't all that interested in resolution? Maybe it was you.

    Perhaps you acted as if you wanted to find resolution and said all the right things: 

    • “Let’s find a way to move forward”
    • “I know we can work this out.” 

    Maybe you did your best to adopt an inquiring stance, saying things like,

    • “Please tell me how you see it.”

    But nothing seemed to work because you weren’t really that interested if it meant you had to change—and so you didn’t commit to the process.

  • July 1, 2023

    Wobbling

    Wobbling

    When life was easier, I would sometimes look around and wonder how I would manage the things life might throw my way--if and when--life being what it is. "I teach this stuff," I would say. Will I practice it in times that are not so easy? Recently, I found out...

  • June 1, 2023

    Tension Contagion: Watching and Noticing

    Tension Contagion: Watching and Noticing

    When I watch aikido students in action, I always learn. At a recent seminar at Portsmouth Aikido, the dojo I founded in 1995, I had another opportunity to reinforce an awareness I've written about before.

    I'm not often on the mat these days, and it's always an experience in discovery to sit on the sidelines.

    For example, as I watched two beginners struggling to get the technique just right, their focus and commitment was intense, and I began to notice my own body tightening. I sensed the tension in the students' bodies as they practiced the technique, and I could feel it in my own as I observed...

  • May 1, 2023

    Talking Together: Setting Up Successful Conversations

    Talking Together: Setting Up Successful Conversations

    It seems that "difficult" conversations are par for the course these days. And even the conversation that starts out easy can turn on a dime. We're all a little on guard, a little careful, in our choice of words, timing, and topics we agree to talk about.

    A popular download from my website is an article I wrote 15 years ago called "We Have to Talk: A Step-by-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations". The Checklist is popular, and I realize after reading it again that I could have added a few more helpful tips, such as setting up the conversation for success, respecting time, and choosing a supportive location. I hope the following will help you hold a conversation that perhaps you've been putting off in a way that supports all parties.

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