Showing posts in the category “Communication”

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• January 26, 2021
  26Jan2021

  The Power of Noticing

  

  I'm very fortunate to meet many wonderful coaches, trainers, and consultants in my day to day work. Janice Cohen is one of those people. Specializing in healthcare leadership, Janice supports those who support us. I've worked with Janice and watched her courageously coach leaders to discover their personal strengths and values, and the behaviors and experiences necessary to meet these challenging times.

  I loved her recent post, which struck a chord that is near and dear to my heart--the power of noticing. I think you'll enjoy and learn from it, as I did.....

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• December 15, 2020
  15Dec2020

  When Opinions Contrast Sharply, Practice Scales

  

  As my friend and colleague, Tammy Lenski says on her website, she supports people and organizations to...

  "Disagree better. Buffer important personal and professional relationships from the negative effects of conflict without sacrificing creativity and collaboration."

  I've know Tammy a long time and admired her work and dedication to providing ways we can touch into our humanity in order to meet each other half way and get along better. As a professor, professional mediator and coach, Tammy practices what she teaches and always has something interesting to say in her writing. I'm happy to share a recent post today:

  When opinions contrast sharply, practice scales

  By Tammy Lenski

  Practicing scales is an elegantly simple way to get a read on where someone stands along a continuum. It’s useful for illuminating the nuances in disagreements that sound polarized.

  When arguments sound black and white, it’s time to find the gray....

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• September 22, 2020
  22Sep2020

  Batter Up!

  

  I'm delighted to share a new post from my friend and fellow blogger and coach, Carrol Suzuki. As Carrol says:

  Listening is an endangered skill in today's quick-bytes, hurry-up world. Although listening is one of the most neglected business skills, it's possibly the most vital. The good news is listening intention and capacity can be learned.

  And that's what Carrol does--helps us become attentive and authentic listeners. She's also a great blogger. Enjoy!  ....

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• September 8, 2020
  8Sep2020

  Looking Through Their Window

  

  In Turn Enemies Into Allies, I share multiple stories about seeing events through another’s eyes. I sometimes find that easy to do, and other times not easy at all. I think wearing masks in this Covid environment when we’re in close proximity to one another is a good idea, for example, and I’m not trying too hard to see the other side of that argument. And… I know there is one....

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• August 11, 2020
  11Aug2020

  Remaining Centered While Living Your Dream

  

  Living in an RV and traveling the U.S. is a life-long dream for many people. Of course it is a dream to travel where we want, when we want, and to not have to worry about seasons. If it’s too hot, we go north. Too dry, we head to water. If we get sick of the ocean we go to the mountains. You get the idea.

  But when, in one 24-hour period a few weeks ago, we hit a very large deer, were backed into by a Prius, and had an engine malfunction, I completely lost my center...

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• July 28, 2020
  28Jul2020

  Beyond words

  

  My friend and colleague Amanda Ridings recently wrote a new book, Weekly Leadership Contemplations. I'm really enjoying it and wanted to share one of her pieces with you called "Beyond words".

  As the book title suggests, Weekly Leadership Contemplations offers 52 short pieces, each one ending with questions for contemplation. The book is designed for leaders, and I find it can work its wonders on anyone. I appreciate that Amanda understands the tight schedule most leaders have, and so gives us short pieces with thoughtful questions to reflect on each week.

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• July 14, 2020
  14Jul2020

  That Is Their Story. This Is Mine.

  

  Perhaps others who shared these events with me, whose lives crossed mine, would recount the events differently, But that is their story. This is mine, my life as I recall having lived it, my life as I recall having loved it. --Michael C. Metskas

  My grandfather, Mike Metskas, was a brave young man when he left his native Macedonia as a 16-year-old to come to America and find his way in the world. In short order “Gramps” found work, founded a business and in time returned to Greece to marry my grandmother and bring her back to raise a family of five in Oak Park, Illinois.

  With a third grade education, Gramps eventually wrote and published his autobiography, Journey to Eternity, an amazing story, and a treasure for our family. I began reading it again recently, knowing it is my story, too....

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• June 30, 2020
  30Jun2020

  Making Assumptions: Why Should You Catch Yourself?

  

  In my last post, I posed a question about whether you can catch yourself when you're about to make an assumption about another person's thoughts or actions, and whether you can choose to move toward curiosity instead of judgment--a crucial awareness if you want to have more skilled conversations.

  I think now a more important question than "whether" you can catch yourself is "why you might want to".

  As I read and re-read the post, I came to see it as naive. Those of us who want to catch ourselves making assumptions will do it and get better at it. And there are some who don't want to get better and maybe don't care. If you just want to be right--or know someone who does--read on....

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• June 16, 2020
  16Jun2020

  Making Assumptions: Can You Catch Yourself?

  

  Have you ever wondered what was going on in another person's mind when they spoke or acted in a way that for you was unimaginable? Did you leap into curiosity or judgment? 

  When our indoor pool was still open, I was enjoying the hot tub after my daily swim when I was joined by a fellow early morning swimmer. We know each other by name but otherwise not well. Without preamble, he began talking about the news of the day as if I was in his brain, knew exactly where he was coming from, and agreed with his views on the politics involved.

  He was really upset with what was going on in the primary race (COVID-19 wasn't yet a common topic of discussion) and he assumed I was also upset. I couldn't tell if he expected me to engage in the conversation or if he just needed to be heard. I didn't engage. I was enjoying my quiet time in the tub, and didn't want to encourage his strong emotions. I also felt differently about some of things he was angry about. 

  Regardless, he kept up a one-sided conversation, with increasing anger and frustration....

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• June 2, 2020
  2Jun2020

  Not Too Close! New Normal, New World

  

  Friend and colleague, Susan Poulin, produced a sweet video--The Coronavirus Shuffle--when the C-Virus first started making itself known here in NH and Maine. Susan's an author, playwright, and performance artist aka her wise and funny alter ego, Ida LeClair from Mahoosuc Mills, ME. In the video Susan/Ida reminds us what we should do to stay safe, while singing, dancing, and gesturing phrases like: "Wash your hands!" and "Wave to your neighbor!", and "Not too close! Not too close!" 

  Ida would be happy to know how often I think of her when I'm washing my hands, waving at a neighbor, or when I've wanted to respond to a close shopper or runner the way she does: "Not too close! Not too close!" Instead, I laugh at myself and regain my center.

  There is plenty about this new virus that doesn't make me smile, of course, at least not at first. One of the changes I've had to make, for example, is moving most of my in-person training (workshops, presentations, one-on-one coaching) to an online format. What?! Aikido movements on Zoom? How could that possibly work?

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