Support for life’s “key” moments.
I read again one of my posts from 2012. Life Is What You Make It: Constructing Meaning tells a story of my aunt Mary (Mimi, as we lovingly called her). She was a special person in my life, an encourager, teacher, loving supporter, and never-ending inspiration.
As I read the 2012 post, one paragraph took me aback....
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
—Mary Oliver**
Something there is that doesn't love a wall....
--Robert Frost*
I have been gifted recently with opportunities to think about life, what life is about and for, and what I in particular am here to do with my "one wild and precious life."
This past year a good, good friend died too young, a close family member became quite ill, another is aging physically and emotionally, and yet another is suffering grief over an ailing child....
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
— Robert Brault
You may have noticed I like to write about gratitude. I think it's because gratitude is one way I center myself, remember what's important in my life, and return to the present moment.
This time of year, in particular, as we head into Thanksgiving and the December holidays, I ask myself and my readers to think about the ways we are already blessed, things we may be blind to because they’re always there, and to name them....
“Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”
― Rumi
Recently I was in a group under a tent on a beautiful day. The purpose of the gathering was to celebrate a beloved soul taken too early from a happy, meaning-filled life. The speakers were kind and considerate, and often tearful. I sat in the very large group, one of many who loved this person, and I looked about me at the loving faces, feeling the warm sun, a light breeze, and the depth of our common connection. And I noticed the ki moment....
My guest post this month is by colleague and friend, Cinnie Noble, whose work as conflict management coach, author and teacher I have long admired.
We talk about "the elephant in the room" all the time, and Cinnie's post helped me explore my own "elephants" and gain insight into how to acknowledge and work with them.
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, by Cinnie Noble
As you likely know, when we use the metaphor – an elephant in the room – we mean there’s an obvious problem about which everyone in the room is fully aware but no one mentions. It may be an important topic that is too uncomfortable, controversial, embarrassing, inflammatory, or dangerous for people to raise.
An elephant in the room might also represent the unspoken hurts or words. They are what is going on between disputing people that isn’t being said. They are the lingering doubts and the niggling feelings. They are the missing pieces of the puzzle. They are present without being identified....
Self-imposed limits often instigate Ki Moments. When my ki feels stuck or restricted, I find it helps to ask how much of the restriction is of my own making? We are always making moment-to-moment choices about how to express our ki – whether and when to communicate about a conflict, for instance.
My frustration with a neighbor and his new drums caused me to examine my options, when I found my ki stuck wondering whether and how to communicate....
I introduced last month's Ki Moments post, "Love's In Need of Love Today," saying I can see love everywhere if I look for it. I feel the same this month about finding joy.
While I'm sometimes happily and luckily surprised by joy (a butterfly floats by, my crocuses are coming up!) it seems that lately I have to make a more conscious effort.
Don’t delay, send yours in right away
Hate’s goin' 'round breakin' many hearts
Stop it, please, before it’s gone too far
Love’s in need of love today
When you understand and you show you understand, you can love, and the situation changes.
I recently returned from The Magic of Skiing program, held yearly by my friend and mentor, author and teacher Thomas Crum. It was indeed a magical program--a week of meditation, physical activity, deep conversation and community in the magical town of Aspen, Colorado. And, of course, skiing!! What I walked away with was a renewed sense of wonder at the love that exists in each of us.....
Last month I wrote about my intention to be more patient. I would ask for "just a little more" patience with life, with obstacles, with other people, and in general.
Today I'm being patient with myself. My energy is low, I don't feel like myself, and it's hard not to wish for a different state of being. So I'm just noticing, wondering and writing. As Rumi says in my favorite Rumi poem...
Traveler, your footprints
Are the path and nothing more;
Traveler, there is no path,
The path is made by walking.
~ Antonio Machado, excerpt from Traveler, There Is No Path
(Trans. Asa Cusack)
Last summer my friend Melodee related a story about centering that stuck with me. When Melodee was a teacher she had a centering bell she'd ring for her students as they returned from recess.
As they flowed back into the four walls of her classroom, wired with frenetic energy, she'd let them get somewhat settled then ring the bell. She'd explained the purpose on day one, so they knew the ringing tone meant for them to take a breath, exhale, and go to the quiet, centered place that was uniquely theirs.
This time of year is alive with energy--frenetic and flowing, excited and solemn, relished and resisted. All kinds of ki flowing in, out and around, so much that we're not sure what to do with it all. Families celebrating, children anticipating, workplaces buzzing with holiday joy, preparations, and even fear about what the holidays might bring this year.
Recently I was reminded of the Antonio Machado poem, Traveler, There Is No Path, an excerpt of which begins this post, and--for me--its reflection on living a more intentional life....
The title of my book, Turn Enemies Into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace, says it all. Through interactive presentations and individual coaching, I’ll help you transform conflict by changing your relationship to it. Aikido is the metaphor we’ll use to become more intentional and less reactive, to communicate directly and respectfully, and to create your life and work on purpose.
Ki (pronounced “key”) is Japanese for universal energy or life force; it’s the central syllable in Aikido and the symbol you see in my logo.