Showing posts in the category “Happinessoptimism”

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• August 1, 2023
  1Aug2023

  Unresolvable Conflict? Maybe It’s You

  

  Have you ever tried to resolve a conflict where one of the parties wasn't all that interested in resolution? Maybe it was you.

  Perhaps you acted as if you wanted to find resolution and said all the right things: 

  • “Let’s find a way to move forward”
  • “I know we can work this out.” 

  Maybe you did your best to adopt an inquiring stance, saying things like,

  • “Please tell me how you see it.”

  But nothing seemed to work because you weren’t really that interested if it meant you had to change—and so you didn’t commit to the process.

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• July 1, 2023
  1Jul2023

  Wobbling

  

  When life was easier, I would sometimes look around and wonder how I would manage the things life might throw my way--if and when--life being what it is. "I teach this stuff," I would say. Will I practice it in times that are not so easy? Recently, I found out...

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• January 1, 2023
  1Jan2023

  Life is what you make it, Judy. -Love, Mimi

  

  I read again one of my posts from 2012. Life Is What You Make It: Constructing Meaning tells a story of my aunt Mary (Mimi, as we lovingly called her). She was a special person in my life, an encourager, teacher, loving supporter, and never-ending inspiration.

  As I read the 2012 post, one paragraph took me aback....

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• December 1, 2022
  1Dec2022

  Death As An Ally

  

  Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

  —Mary Oliver**

  Something there is that doesn't love a wall....

  --Robert Frost*

  I have been gifted recently with opportunities to think about life, what life is about and for, and what I in particular am here to do with my "one wild and precious life." 

  This past year a good, good friend died too young, a close family member became quite ill, another is aging physically and emotionally, and yet another is suffering grief over an ailing child....

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• November 1, 2022
  1Nov2022

  Thoughts for Thanksgiving: Choose the Good Ones

  

  Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

   — Robert Brault

  You may have noticed I like to write about gratitude. I think it's because gratitude is one way I center myself, remember what's important in my life, and return to the present moment. 

  This time of year, in particular, as we head into Thanksgiving and the December holidays, I ask myself and my readers to think about the ways we are already blessed, things we may be blind to because they’re always there, and to name them....

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• September 1, 2022
  1Sep2022

  Every Day Gratitude: It's in the Noticing

  

  “Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” 
  ― Rumi

  Recently I was in a group under a tent on a beautiful day. The purpose of the gathering was to celebrate a beloved soul taken too early from a happy, meaning-filled life. The speakers were kind and considerate, and often tearful. I sat in the very large group, one of many who loved this person, and I looked about me at the loving faces, feeling the warm sun, a light breeze, and the depth of our common connection. And I noticed the ki moment....

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• August 1, 2022
  1Aug2022

  The Elephant in the Room

  

  My guest post this month is by colleague and friend, Cinnie Noble, whose work as conflict management coach, author and teacher I have long admired.

  We talk about "the elephant in the room" all the time, and Cinnie's post helped me explore my own "elephants" and gain insight into how to acknowledge and work with them.

  THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, by Cinnie Noble

  As you likely know, when we use the metaphor – an elephant in the room – we mean there’s an obvious problem about which everyone in the room is fully aware but no one mentions. It may be an important topic that is too uncomfortable, controversial, embarrassing, inflammatory, or dangerous for people to raise.

  An elephant in the room might also represent the unspoken hurts or words. They are what is going on between disputing people that isn’t being said. They are the lingering doubts and the niggling feelings. They are the missing pieces of the puzzle. They are present without being identified....

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• June 1, 2022
  1Jun2022

  Simple Gifts and Ki Moments

  

  Self-imposed limits often instigate Ki Moments. When my ki feels stuck or restricted, I find it helps to ask how much of the restriction is of my own making? We are always making moment-to-moment choices about how to express our ki – whether and when to communicate about a conflict, for instance.

  My frustration with a neighbor and his new drums caused me to examine my options, when I found my ki stuck wondering whether and how to communicate....

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• April 1, 2022
  1Apr2022

  Finding Joy in Difficult Times: Being Intentional

  

  I introduced last month's Ki Moments post, "Love's In Need of Love Today," saying I can see love everywhere if I look for it. I feel the same this month about finding joy.

  While I'm sometimes happily and luckily surprised by joy (a butterfly floats by, my crocuses are coming up!) it seems that lately I have to make a more conscious effort.

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• March 1, 2022
  1Mar2022

  Love's in need of love today

  

  The gospel according to Stevie Wonder goes like this: 

  Love’s in need of love today

  Don’t delay, send yours in right away

  Hate’s goin' 'round breakin' many hearts

  Stop it, please, before it’s gone too far

  Love’s in need of love today

  And from Thích Nhất Hạnh 

  When you understand and you show you understand, you can love, and the situation changes.

  I recently returned from The Magic of Skiing program, held yearly by my friend and mentor, author and teacher Thomas Crum. It was indeed a magical program--a week of meditation, physical activity, deep conversation and community in the magical town of Aspen, Colorado. And, of course, skiing!! What I walked away with was a renewed sense of wonder at the love that exists in each of us.....

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