Ki Moments Blog

Support for life’s “key” moments.

Showing posts with the tag “Centering”

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  • August 13, 2019

    Power Plays: How to Regain Power In Difficult Situations

    Power Plays: How to Regain Power In Difficult Situations

    All meaningful and lasting change begins on the inside.

    – Martin Luther

    I've been reading the first book I wrote in 2006, Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict, looking for a story to help you regain power in difficult situations. I'd forgotten that the book is peppered with anecdotes from students who tell their own stories about regaining perspective in difficult situations. It was fun to rediscover this feature of Unlikely Teachers, because that's what the book is about--the teacher hidden in the difficulty. The difficulty is the teacher.

    So...instead of sharing one story, I'd like to share four that struck a chord for me. The chord is one I play often and that you are probably familiar with, and one we all forget all the time...

  • May 7, 2019

    Beginning Again and Again

    Beginning Again and Again

    Beginning again and again is the actual practice, not a problem to be overcome. --Sharon Salzberg

    As I made my way to the exit, the other passengers on my jetBlue flight were taking their time making their way down the aisle. If I could just get off this plane, I might make the 6:10 bus to Portsmouth and home, and not have to wait an hour for another bus. The flight was already late getting into Boston, and I really wanted to make that bus. Uncentered and pushing mentally, if not physically, I was grinding my teeth and trying to do whatever I could to hurry the passengers in front of me along, including bypassing some seats where the passengers didn’t immediately get up to retrieve bags from the overhead bin.

    And I caught myself. And breathed, and smiled, and returned to center...

  • May 10, 2016

    Centering Tip: Exhale!

    Centering Tip: Exhale!

    Several things happened recently to remind me how we forget to breathe.

    In yoga class, our instructor emphasized the importance of the exhale. She said that in order to breathe deeply, we have to exhale first. That our lungs contain a lot of stale air (as much as 7 years worth!) and exhaling fully helps us get rid of the old stuff and take in the new.

    At breakfast with my goddaughter, we got to talking about her college life, friends, and studies. She and her friends are studious high achievers, and I was surprised and disheartened to learn that stress and busyness are badges of honor among her mates...

  • January 21, 2014

    Hold the Difficult Conversations: They Matter

    Hold the Difficult Conversations: They Matter

    "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
    —Martin Luther King, Jr.


    I read this quote yesterday — Martin Luther King Day — and began to wonder how often we are silent when we might speak about things that matter.


    What conversation have you been putting off?
    What matters to you, and where have you become silent?
    When you have something to say, why not say it?
     

  • May 1, 2012

    Dealing With Difficult Conflict: There Is No Opponent There

    Dealing With Difficult Conflict: There Is No Opponent There

    Stop doing what isn’t working. See a big red STOP sign in front of your face when you begin to react in ways you know don’t serve you, have never served you. You don’t have to have a backup plan, though it helps. Just STOP what isn’t working.

  • April 17, 2012

    Conflict Resolution for Kids: Breathe, Learn, Talk

    Conflict Resolution for Kids: Breathe, Learn, Talk

    When a mom asked me about how to help her 10-year-old daughter Becky solve a problem with her teasing friend, the BLT method was the perfect solution.

  • February 21, 2012

    Defusing Anger: Using Non-Verbal Communication Constructively

    Defusing Anger: Using Non-Verbal Communication Constructively

    In a recent workshop with a highly-respected engineering firm, the HR director asked if I had any suggestions about defusing employees who come to her “hot under the collar.” This is what I suggested…

  • March 1, 2011

    Ki Moments March 2011

    Emotions happen. We can, however, make choices about how we manage them.