Hi and welcome to March and this Ki Moment.

How are you inventing your life today? Do you feel centered?

Recently, I presented a program for a longtime client, a well-known New England medical center, whose intelligent and enthusiastic employees are always a joy to work with. I tend toward a style of teaching that invites the student to learn through experience. Participants practice physical metaphors from the martial art Aikido, and I invite them to integrate and articulate their new understanding with questions such as: "Think of a person or situation you have been resisting. How does centering change your relationship to the challenge?"

Sometimes it's best to let others do the talking, as in the story told by this nurse leader who turned a difficult moment into a ki moment.

I have a co-worker with whom I work fairly closely; we don't have the same job but some of our duties overlap. When she is out or vice versa, we cover for each other.

She was recently away on vacation and I knew when she got back I'd have to give her an overview of the week's events. Typically, I am very un-centered around this person; just hearing her name gets me frustrated. And I knew as I was walking down the stairs to her office that she was going to give me some pushback based on the information I had to tell her (through no fault of my own).

However, as I was making my way to her office, I centered myself and told myself to be calm and to not react emotionally to the problems but rather to address the issues. As I had predicted, when I filled her in on the week's events she became irritated and started ranting. Normally I would have interrupted her and started trying to explain. Instead, I let her finish her rant and then, instead of ranting back, I acknowledged her frustration by saying something like, "I understand that you're frustrated. What can we do to fix this?"

Rather instantly her whole mood shifted, and instead of us getting into a heated debate she relaxed and was much more calm and focused on moving forward on the issue at hand. After our meeting, I left her office quite excited that I now have a way to interact with her that is rewarding and successful instead of grating.

Do you have a relationship like this one? Are you giving your power away by being uncentered and reactive? It only takes a moment to center yourself. When you breathe and become present to your surroundings, you also connect with a higher purpose and with the skill to communicate that purpose. You can do this anytime you notice that you are uncentered and make the choice to come back.

Think of a difficult person, like the one in the story. Center yourself. How does centering change the relationship?

Good ki!
Judy Ringer

Your Own Centering Bell

In my workshops, I use a centering bell to help participants practice. The sound of the bell is centering, plus it reminds us to do it.

I now have an mp3 file of the centering bell sound on the Products page on my Website (judyringer.com). You can download the sound and listen to it anytime (no charge!).

Take a moment now to center yourself.

Developing Your Conflict Competence

I recently contributed a section on "Centering" to a new book by authors Craig E. Runde and Tim A. Flanagan, "Developing Your Conflict Competence: A Hands-On Guide for Leaders, Managers, Facilitators, and Teams" (Jossey-Bass). This third book in the authors' "conflict competent" series is filled with tips, checklists, exercises, and illustrative stories that offer insight into the nature of conflict and show how to handle conflict successfully.

Public Workshops

Come learn, network, and enjoy yourself with other likeminded students.

Negotiating for Mutual Gain, Workshop with Judy Ringer (Portsmouth, NH, April 1)

Managing Difficult Situations, Workshop with Judy Ringer (Portland, ME, April 7)

Fearless Relationships: A Workshop for TwoSomes, Two Workshops and Coaching with Judy Ringer and Fran Liautaud (Portsmouth, NH, April 10 - May 1)

Creating a Positive Workplace, Workshop with Judy Ringer (Portsmouth, NH, April 15)

Collaborative Healthcare: Open Heart Surgery for Ailing Workplaces, Workshop with Judy Ringer and Beth Boynton (Portsmouth, NH, April 22)

Confident Voices: A Workshop for Nurses, Workshop with Judy Ringer and Beth Boynton (Portsmouth, NH, May 13)

Contact Information
Judy Ringer
Power & Presence Training
76 Park Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801
voice: 603.431.8560
website: www.judyringer.com

Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, a Portsmouth, NH company specializing in unique workshops to help you and your organization manage conflict, communicate effectively, and co-create a more positive work environment.

E-mail Judy at judy@judyringer.com for a free initial meeting to discuss your training needs. Ki (from Ai-ki-do) is Japanese for life energy. Ki Moments is a complimentary monthly "e-zine" with tips and how-to articles to help you manage the key moments in your life.

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