Have you ever really wanted to change something about yourself and found it was harder than you expected?
I used to believe that if you really wanted to change, you could. But since reading Immunity to Change, by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey, and taking their facilitator training, I'm not so sure. Why are some behaviors so resistant to change? Like New Year's resolutions, why are some well-intentioned plans forgotten by April?
According to Kegan and Lahey, when change is unsuccessful or unsustainable, there may be unconscious mental and emotional systems at work--hopes, fears, and competing commitments that keep us from making the desired change.
Think of a change you've tried to make, like losing weight, delegating more, being a better listener, or quitting smoking.
To use the Immunity to Change (ITC) model, imagine a 4-column map. 
The columns contain:
- the behavior change goal;
- behaviors that undermine the goal;
- fears and hidden commitments about the change;
- the assumptions that underlie the "immunity to change."
For example:
- I want to be a more collaborative leader (my behavior change goal), but I...
- speak more than others and take charge at every meeting (undermining my goal), because I...
- worry I may lose control and be seen as weak (fears, hidden commitment to not losing control).
- As I step back, I notice a possible underlying assumption that people want a leader who has all the answers.
The Immunity to Change model shows why we don’t follow through on even our most deeply held commitments and goals--why we learn skills and don’t use them, lose weight and gain it back, promise ourselves we'll delegate more but find it easier to "just do it myself," or commit to a healthier work/life balance only to slip back into old patterns.
The ITC concept is complex and you can learn more. Some suggestions:
- Read Immunity to Change. It's filled with great examples.
- Read the Harvard Business Review article, "The Real Reason People Won't Change," by Kegan and Lahey, a forerunner to the book.
- Visit the MindsatWork website for some great videos and other resources.
- Attend my open enrollment workshop May 25, in Portsmouth, NH.
I'd love to hear your thoughts about any of my posts. Please leave a comment below.
And enjoy your day. Each moment is a ki moment. Be present to this one!
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