I've written extensively on how to hold difficult conversations and manage conflict in the workplace--which you can find in my blog posts and on the Resources/Articles page of my website.
Most often downloaded are:
- We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations
- How to Keep a Good Employee: Look, Listen Learn
- Purposeful Communication: A Role Play, and
- Being Heard: 6 Strategies for Getting Your Point Across
I recently read another great post on being heard in difficult conversations on the Harvard Business Review blog, called: "How to Make Sure You’re Heard in a Difficult Conversation," by Amy Gallo.
While the basic principles for effectively holding difficult conversations are fairly consistent in the literature...
- Center yourself: Stay calm and manage your emotions
- Know your purpose for the conversation
- Be curious: cultivate a mindset of inquiry
- Acknowledge positive intention
- Advocate without blame: Use sentences that start with "I" instead of "You"
- Collaborate to build sustainable solutions
...Amy writes in skill-building, practical language, offering her own awareness tips and strategic phrases on managing various workplace conflicts. I hope you'll also check out her post on "How to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague" -- a common question in my workshops. I found her thoughts on how to get help and protect yourself in extreme situations particularly useful.
Practice is the name of the game. And I'll be offering a public workshop on the topic -- We Have to Talk: A Step-by-Step Workshop for Holding Difficult Conversations Well -- on April 13, in Portsmouth, NH. Come and join others in discovering the power you already have.
Hope to see you there!