Welcome to July's issue of Ki Moments!

Are you caught up in yesterday's missed opportunities or tomorrow's worries? Stop and center yourself. You may have less control over external circumstances than you wish, but you can influence your inner world.

Breathe in, expand your chest, lengthen your spine and lower your shoulders. Look out a window. Get up and walk. Notice this moment. It's the only one you've really got.

Life is so busy and so full,
it's hard to remember the quiet
from which all activity springs.

Stop. Listen. Breathe. Be.

-- From Simple Gifts: Making the Most of Life's Ki Moments

Remind yourself often to center today.
Good ki!

Judy

A Choice Moment: Finding the Way Back

"We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same."
~ Carlos Castaneda

Twenty miles past the exit, I figured I'd gone too far. I couldn't believe it. I would have been early and now I'd be twenty minutes late. I was chewing the inside of my head out with criticism and anguish.

I zipped off the exit, turned around, and headed back down I-89 South toward my friend's house, wanting to plunge the gas pedal to the floor. I centered myself. It lasted about two seconds, and my center flew up to the top of my head. How could I miss that exit? I've made this trip a hundred times. What is WRONG with me!?

When fear, tension or emotions are triggered, it feels like we have no choice, when actually we do. With practice opportunities, like my missed exit, we get better at noticing the choice moment.

I realized that this was that moment. I had a choice to make-and keep making. I had to travel twenty miles back to the Sharon Exit. Would I make my way back in a state of high anxiety or travel the road calm and centered, enjoying the view?

The uncentered state is high drama, the pressure enlivening. I've got a problem to solve. The mind races with possibilities, happy to have something to grapple with. Like all habits of mind and body, the uncenteredness feels oddly comfortable. The tension, annoyance, judgment, fear and helplessness make me feel alive. Why would I center myself?

Because centering puts me in a mental, emotional and physical space that allows me to become the driver instead of being driven by my reaction. I can remain tense and angry. Or I can enjoy the ride. The time it takes to get there is the same. But the quality of my life during those twenty minutes will be vastly different. When I find my way back to the centered state, I'm physically relaxed, I'm managing my emotions, and I'm conscious of what I'm really going for.

Here's what I did.

• I centered again. And again. I made myself look out the window at the beautiful scenery. It helps that I-89 in that part of Vermont is one of the most beautiful roads on the planet.
• I let the mountains, valleys, and trees soothe me and reduce my need to hurry.
• I replaced self-criticism with curiosity about who lived in the few New England homes I could see from the road.
• I talked to myself.... Focus on the goal: arrive safely. You have to travel twenty miles. You cannot change this fact. You can change yourself.
• I kept making the choice. Whenever I felt tension creep into my legs, arms and hands, I paid attention, breathed consciously, and repeated one of the above.
• I smiled at myself.

It helped. Soon the practice took over, and I grew increasingly aware of the present moment. I enjoyed the ride and arrived at my friend's house in good spirits, with a great story to tell.

I think most of us know all this. We invent life at every turn. Each unexpected event is an opportunity to practice. Give yourself credit when you do.

How will you travel your road today?

Upcoming Public Programs

Please join me for learning, adventure, networking and fun.

In A Pickle? Inner Self-Defense for Everyday Challenges
Workshop with Judy Ringer and Joy Jacobs
Southern NH University, Portsmouth, NH, September 25

Aikido, Conflict, and Relationship: Getting on the Mat
Half-Day Workshop with Judy Ringer
Pegasus Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 7

Pause for Breath

A Leadership Retreat with Amanda Ridings
September 13-17, 2010

Imagine a week with time and space to take stock, reflect and connect with your deeper wisdom.

Colleague Amanda Ridings says her program, A Pause for Breath, is a purposeful time-out for leaders and executive coaches. Amanda is a t'ai chi practitioner, and Pause for Breath makes connections between t'ai chi and effective coaching and leadership.

It takes place September 13-17, 2010, in the beautiful Scotland countryside.

Learn more
 

20th Pegasus Conference

Nov. 8-10 · Boston, MA

I'm once again honored to be a featured speaker at the annual Pegasus Communications Systems Thinking Conference.

I'll be presenting "Aikido, Conflict, and Relationship: Getting on the Mat" an out-of-the-box training combining aikido, communication, conflict transformation, and relationship management - perfect for kinesthetic learners who want to immerse themselves in the educational experience.

It's a pre-conference program and takes place on Sunday, Nov. 7, from 1:30-4:30 pm, at New England Aikikai in Cambridge - a well-respected Aikido school where you can practice throwing, falling, and blending with energy while applying everything you learn to conflict in daily life.

The Conference theme this year is, "Systems Thinking in Action: Fueling New Cycles of Success," with keynote speakers such as Peter Senge, Frances Moore Lappé, and Daniel Kim. It's a wonderful conference - consider it for yourself and your organization.

Learn more about the conference at Pegasus.com.

Read a description and sign up for my workshop on the "Pre-Conference Workshops" page.

Contact Information
Judy Ringer
Power & Presence Training
76 Park Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801
voice: 603.431.8560
website: www.judyringer.com

Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, a Portsmouth, NH company specializing in unique workshops to help you and your organization manage conflict, communicate effectively, and co-create a more positive work environment.

E-mail Judy at judy@judyringer.com for a free initial meeting to discuss your training needs. Ki (from Ai-ki-do) is Japanese for life energy. Ki Moments is a complimentary monthly "e-zine" with tips and how-to articles to help you manage the key moments in your life.

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