Last December I wrote a post titled "Death as an Ally" about the preciousness of each fleeting moment. In the past year, I've come to appreciate this sentiment even more.
As you move into the month of December with its accompanying demands on your time--the cards, parties, family visits, joys and conflicts--maybe take a moment each day (oftener if you're willing) to stop and notice this moment, this...ki... moment, a moment that will not come again. Find ways to reinforce presence.
Like the indicator light on the dashboard of your car, create reminders for yourself:
- Start the day with meditation, prayer, or other centering activity. Insert a 10-minute quiet sitting practice into your morning ritual, or make space in some other part of your day. If 10 minutes seems daunting, make it five minutes. Your body, mind and spirit will thank you.
- Make a daily chore into a presencing prompt. It could be anything--washing dishes, driving, throwing clothes into the dryer. Take a conscious breath and exhale slowly. Just be. I'm doing it now as I write. It's a little health break. And really, how much time does it take?
- Let that difficult person in your life be an indicator light that reminds you to see beyond their affect. Search out the history, character, and humanity behind their eyes. Just for a few minutes. Who are they really?
In your uncentered moments, when you lose yourself, can you find yourself again? Can you tune in to the sounds, feelings and beauty around you? Can you listen to your heart? Can you give the gift of presence to even the most challenging situations and people? This is love that rebounds back to you over and over.
I end with an excerpt from my book, Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict. I wrote these words 16 years ago -- obviously a theme in my work and my life.
Don't wait. Today is precious.
Making Choices
Conflict too often provides the bricks and mortar for walls that keep out the world and those we love. Constructed of fear, judgment, defensiveness, and misunderstanding, our walls are meant to keep us safe and maintain the rightness of our opinions.
The problem is that walls work two ways. Our carefully assembled grudges, justifications, and attitudes are, at the same time, barriers to what we desire most--connection to our wisdom, to our humanity, and to the source of universal intelligence that supports us all.
Our real safety lies in connection, but because we are more practiced at building walls, we create a prison for ourselves, keeping out the very things we hoped the walls would enclose.
What walls have you constructed that no longer serve a useful purpose? Do reactive habits keep you from finding a new path? In what ways are you resisting connection? What is conflict and how can you safely change yourself in order to change your situation?
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