Ki Moments Blog

Support for life’s “key” moments.

April 1, 2024

The Difficult, Challenging, Courageous, Uncomfortable Conversation

The Difficult, Challenging, Courageous, Uncomfortable Conversation

While I've written often over the years about the kind of conversations many of us put off (or never have) because it's just too hard, I believe wholeheartedly (and know from experience) that these tough conversations are the ones we need to have the most. If held well, they can build or rescue a relationship, find an elegant solution to a knotty problem, and even be energizing and thought-provoking.

We fear them because we've done poorly with them in the past, don't know how to begin, think our conversation partner isn't willing, or a host of similar reasons.

Recently, thanks to my amazing colleague Melisa GillisI was introduced to this 4-minute video by Simon Sinekauthor of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game

The YouTube version is titled, "Try THIS the Next Time You Have an Uncomfortable Conversation". What I like about it is its simplicity and honesty. Simon suggests that we begin the "uncomfortable" conversation by owning up to the fact that it's uncomfortable, and by being clear about our purpose--that the topic or the relationship is important enough that I'm facing my fear and asking for my partner to join me--to, in fact, help me have it.  

He gives an example in the video of how he might open the conversation:

I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with you. I'm afraid of having this conversation because I'm afraid that I'll say the wrong thing or it'll come out the wrong way and make things worse. So please be patient with me as I try to fumble through this and get out what I need to tell you. But it's more important to me that I have this conversation with you and try and address this situation than avoid it, because this relationship matters to me.

I'll stop here and let you click on one of the links above to watch and listen to the rest of the video. It's great. It humanizes and normalizes these types of conversations that we'd be better off having than putting off.

Meanwhile, I hope this finds you well wherever you are.

Good ki!

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