Have you ever tried to resolve conflict when there was no motivation? Although we often see the other person as the problem, maybe you were resistant, too. Regardless, without any desire to change, it's a lot harder to work things out.
When you're helping others resolve conflict, is it any easier?
In May, Ki Moments began a series of posts about The Manager as Mediator, designed to help managers and leaders address organizational and personality conflict involving coworkers, management, and leadership teams. Designed as a coaching intervention, the 5-step model offers a step-by-step process for developing skills in yourself and the people you support.
So far we've offered an introduction that outlined the 5 steps and a second post on Step #1: First Manage You.
Today, we focus on Step #2: Measure and Gain Commitment.
How do you overcome employees' resistance to resolving the conflicts between them? Sometimes humans are stubborn. When the choice seems to be about being right or wrong, we almost always prefer being right. Working on the issue might mean having to look in the mirror. And if they knew how, they would have done it already, correct? Not necessarily. While resolution would make life easier, there must be a benefit to continuing the conflict or it would have ended long ago.
As a manager and leader, your job is to help them find and understand the current benefit and replace it with others that will be more advantageous to their career, make them happier, and give them more power in the long run. The result is more than conflict resolution. This is about developing skilled leaders and role models in the organization.