Ki Moments Blog

Support for life’s “key” moments.

Showing posts with the tag “Leadership Power And Presence”

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  • July 8, 2014

    The Manager as Mediator--Step 3: Meet Individually First

    The Manager as Mediator--Step 3: Meet Individually First

    You manage two individuals who are at odds with each other. They are each valuable to the organization, technically savvy and, for the most part, get along with everyone but each other.

    You've tried the pep talk:

    Come on, now, you can do this. Rise above it.

    The appeal to compassion and empathy:

    Try not to take things so personally; see things from their perspective.

    The common sense approach:

    Your work is suffering. Something has to change. You don't have to be best friends, but you do have to work together and get the job done.

    You've also tried avoiding, ignoring, and wishing things would change. You've brought the topic up at performance reviews. You've talked to colleagues, coaches, and consultants. 

    In May, Ki Moments began a series, The Manager as Mediator, designed to help managers and leaders address organizational and personality conflict involving coworkers, management, and leadership teams. Designed as a coaching intervention, the 5-step model offers a step-by-step process for developing skills in yourself and the people you support.

    So far we've offered an introduction and posts on Step #1: First Manage You and Step #2: Measure and Gain Commitment.

    Today, we focus on Step #3: Meet Individually First.

  • June 24, 2014

    The Manager as Mediator--Step 2: Measure and Gain Commitment

    The Manager as Mediator--Step 2: Measure and Gain Commitment

    Have you ever tried to resolve conflict when there was no motivation? Although we often see the other person as the problem, maybe you were resistant, too. Regardless, without any desire to change, it's a lot harder to work things out.

    When you're helping others resolve conflict, is it any easier?

    In May, Ki Moments began a series of posts about The Manager as Mediator, designed to help managers and leaders address organizational and personality conflict involving coworkers, management, and leadership teams. Designed as a coaching intervention, the 5-step model offers a step-by-step process for developing skills in yourself and the people you support.

    So far we've offered an introduction that outlined the 5 steps and a second post on Step #1: First Manage You.

    Today, we focus on Step #2: Measure and Gain Commitment.

    How do you overcome employees' resistance to resolving the conflicts between them? Sometimes humans are stubborn. When the choice seems to be about being right or wrong, we almost always prefer being right. Working on the issue might mean having to look in the mirror. And if they knew how, they would have done it already, correct? Not necessarily. While resolution would make life easier, there must be a benefit to continuing the conflict or it would have ended long ago.

    As a manager and leader, your job is to help them find and understand the current benefit and replace it with others that will be more advantageous to their career, make them happier, and give them more power in the long run. The result is more than conflict resolution. This is about developing skilled leaders and role models in the organization.

  • June 10, 2014

    The Manager as Mediator--Step 1: First Manage You

    The Manager as Mediator--Step 1: First Manage You

    In May, Ki Moments began a series of posts about The Manager as Mediator, designed to help managers and leaders address organizational and personality conflict involving coworkers, management, and leadership teams. Designed as a coaching intervention, the 5-step model offers a step-by-step process for developing skills in yourself and the people you support.

    We started in May with an introduction to the 5 steps.

    Today, we focus on Step #1: First Manage You

  • May 27, 2014

    The Manager as Mediator: 5 Tips for Managing Conflict Between Co-Workers

    The Manager as Mediator: 5 Tips for Managing Conflict Between Co-Workers


    How do I manage conflict between employees? ​
    What should I do when coworkers don't get along?

    In 20 years of teaching and coaching, I have seen managers and leaders struggle most with these questions. Why? Because conflict among coworkers saps time and energy and limits creativity, not to mention keeping managers up at night.

    I see otherwise skilled and technically savvy managers and chief executives wondering what to do. Should I intervene? Bring them together? Work individually? What do I say?