Editor's note: This is a guest post from Ashley Davis Bush.

You sit down to Thanksgiving dinner with the best of intentions. You want to savor the stuffing and delight in the pumpkin pie. You know you have a long list of blessings to count. But then it happens . . . your mom treats you like a child, your uncle insults your political beliefs, and your brother, whom you haven’t seen in months, asks if you’ve put on a few pounds.

Before the smoke comes out of your ears or you storm away from the table in a huff, try these simple tools and turn the situation around.

5 Shortcuts to Peace at Thanksgiving

Child’s Play

If a relative’s behavior starts to bother you, shrink them in your mind’s eye to a version of themselves at age five. Imagine them as a small child who is vulnerable, innocent and dependent. This exercise develops compassion for them and makes it easier to tolerate their annoying habits.

Watch your Mouth

Don’t say anything negative! Some families make it a sport of complaining about the weather, the nation, the economy, the neighbors, each other. Resist the temptation to join in. When you put your focus on negative thoughts, you create a negative mood. Instead, respond with a positive comment.

Jack n’ Chill

If the situation really gets tense, excuse yourself to the bathroom. Run cold water over your wrists for a minute. If possible, put a wet washcloth behind your neck. Imagine your emotional fires being doused.

Right turn

If someone says something hostile to you, take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Release your resistance and say, “I can see how you would think that” or even, “I agree with you” or “yes, it’s true that I used to do that.” Although this tactic can be challenging, you completely defuse a conflict when you don’t fight back. Look for a kernel of truth to agree with.

Three Blessings

Note to yourself at least three things that are beautiful and lovely about this holiday experience. If you choose to shine the spotlight of attention on your annoying cousin, you’ll have a stressful experience. But if you choose to shine the spotlight on the delicious turkey and your hilarious sister, you’ll boost the positive energy and minimize the negative.

Creating peace at Thanksgiving begins with you. Try these simple strategies and claim your power in making it a Thanksgiving you can be thankful for.

What are your secrets for happy holiday gatherings?

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Ashley Davis Bush is a psychotherapist and writer in Epping, NH. She is the author of the newly released Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity.