From a jazz song by Mose Allison:
"my mind is on vacation but my mouth is working overtime"
Many thanks to Carrol Suzuki (www.listeningbetter.com) for the gift of this post. Carrol and her company train business people to listen. As she puts it:
Listening is an endangered skill in today's quick-bytes, hurry-up world. Although listening is one of the most neglected business skills, it's possibly the most vital. The good news is listening intention and capacity can be learned.
Make That Pit Stop
by Carrol Suzuki
Race car drivers – make pit stops to go at top speed. To get top understanding in a conversation — do the same thing.
Decide how many tires need changing.
First one would be to quickly access what major intention might be getting in the way of your listening and get fresh treads on listening for understanding. INTEND
Second one could be to respond by clarifying in your own words – what you think they meant. SAY
Third one is to indicate through your tone of voice or body language that you appreciate what they’re saying (even if you don’t agree.) SHOW
The fourth and last one would be to steer, accelerate and slow down using all your wheels as the conversational race changes.
If you like the analogy of winning – mine would be: he who listens best – wins. Or he who understands more and best - wins.
With thanks and appreciation to Preciosa Leal - Carrol's virtual assistant who provided the idea of "pit stop" and found the source of the jazz song.