Ki Moments Blog

Support for life’s “key” moments.

November 1, 2008

Ki Moments November 2008

Good ki to you on this day, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving.

The pastor of my church says, "It is a gift in itself to live with a grateful heart." The capacity to find the positive in life is a blessing, especially in life's challenging moments.

Make this moment a ki moment and find one thing you're grateful for ... a friend, a loved one, a breath of fresh air ... and be happy that you can see what's good in life.

Support yourself and others with learning, inspiration, and positive ki. And learn a simple conflict resolution strategy from my friend Susan in this month's article, "Bring a Coffee Cake."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Bring a Coffee Cake

At dinner with my friend Susan recently, I was struck by the simplicity of her conflict resolution strategy. A friend sought Susan's advice about how to approach her neighbor about a potential conflict. The neighbor was prickly and the friend uneasy, and she asked Susan to come along as support for the conversation.

Susan wisely said no, this was not her conflict. She also rightly perceived that approaching the neighbor together might look a bit like ganging up.

Not wanting to leave her friend hanging, she suggested the following three-part strategy to get the conversation off to a positive start.

  1. Bring a coffee cake.
  2. Knock on the door, present the cake, and ask the neighbor to put on a pot of coffee.
  3. Ask if they might sit down and talk.

I was taken by the simplicity of this approach. Food. Always a heart-warmer. Coffee cake brings back childhood visits to relatives when Mom always brought something sweet to whomever we were visiting (she still does). It felt so friendly. A peace offering of sorts.

As Susan had hoped, the gesture opened the door for her friend. The neighbor was touched by the thought, put on the coffee, and the two talked, listened and resolved what might otherwise have been a difficult issue.

If coffee cake isn't your cup of tea, what gesture creates a similar tone of mutuality, respect, and openness? Maybe it's not what's in your hand but in your heart that counts.

As for me, I am definitely adding it to my repertoire. I teach and coach people for a living, offering constructive strategies for transforming conflict into useful energy, communicating safely, and improving relationships. And I am open to all the ways there are that accomplish these goals. Thank you, Susan.


Contact Information
Judy Ringer
Power & Presence Training
76 Park Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801
voice: 603.431.8560

Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, a Portsmouth, NH company specializing in unique workshops to help you and your organization manage conflict, communicate effectively, and co-create a more positive work environment.

E-mail Judy at for a free initial meeting to discuss your training needs. Ki (from Ai-ki-do) is Japanese for life energy. Ki Moments is a complimentary monthly "e-zine" with tips and how-to articles to help you manage the key moments in your life.

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