Practice Makes Perfect: Changing Your Communication Habits One Step At a Time

We are what we do repeatedly,
Excellence, therefore, is not an act,
It is a habit.
-- Aristotle

Since September, Ki Moments has focused on tools and attitudes for holding difficult conversations. Today, I'd like to bring it all together with some steps for continued practice.

The concept of practice applies to any skill that you want to cultivate. Practicing new conflict and communication techniques requires some risk-taking. Nonetheless, you learn from the successes and the unexpected outcomes, and you gradually become more proficient. Here are some ways to continue to practice communicating more clearly and purposefully:

• Increase awareness. Notice whether your communication style is accomplishing your goals. If not, try something different.
• Acknowledge. What is your positive hope for the communication? What is theirs? Recognize that you are both doing your best, and give yourself and your partner the benefit of the doubt.
• Keep it safe. Maintain a calm, centered attitude, a respectful demeanor, and a positive purpose.
• Cultivate curiosity. Develop an open, curious, and interested frame of mind. Regardless of what your conversation partner says, try to see their centered intent and respond appropriately.
• Practice. Try new techniques and learn from them. If you tend toward a passive and accommodating style, try offering a different opinion on occasion. If the opposite is true and you are on the talkative side, stop yourself and listen more. Ask questions. Try being curious.

A tourist stopped a New Yorker on the street and asked: "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" The New Yorker replied: "Practice!" An old joke, but a good one. The point is that change takes place gradually over time. Try one adjustment today. Review the suggestions above, and pick one. Let me know what happens. Take time to enjoy your newfound power. And most of all - have fun!
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Aikido - The Martial Art

Many of the principles reflected in Ki Moments come from aikido, the Japanese martial art that teaches self-defense through the redirection of energy.

If you're interested in learning aikido, Portsmouth Aikido is an ongoing martial arts school located in Portsmouth. You can learn more about PortsmouthAikido.org.

Contact Information

Judy Ringer
Power & Presence Training
76 Park Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801
voice: 603.431.8560
website: www.judyringer.com

Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, a Portsmouth, NH company specializing in unique workshops to help you and your organization manage conflict, communicate effectively, and co-create a more positive work environment. E-mail Judy at judy@judyringer.com for a free initial meeting to discuss your training needs.

Ki (from Ai-ki-do) is Japanese for life energy. Ki Moments is a complimentary monthly "e- zine" with tips and how-to articles to help you manage the key moments in your life.

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