I learned an anger management technique from my local paper, in a story about Charles Donald Downing, a centenarian living in York Beach, Maine.
He and his wife--his "precious Irene"--were married 78 years. Although Irene died earlier this year at the age of 97, Charles reported they "never had a fight in all those years." I agree it's hard to believe.
Their secret is that they made agreements with each other, and one of them was this: whenever a disagreement arose or they got angry, one of them would get up and get a drink of water. Then, after the pause, they would begin again, discuss things, and come to a conclusion on what to do.
A Drink of Water
This is one of the best centering practices I've every heard. Stop, get up, and get a drink of water. By taking this simple step, you change your location--and your perspective. You get up and physically move--while using up some of the adrenaline coursing through your system. You drink some water--and you breathe and relax your tense jaw muscles. I can imagine how many arguments were solved with love instead of force, and how, over the years, the couple learned to respect each other more and more deeply.
Think about it. When was the last time you wished you'd stopped yourself from acting on an adrenaline rush of rightness, anger, or justification. Were you happy with the result? If not, I suggest creating some agreements with yourself and developing a centering practice.
- Ask a question you don't know the answer to
- Get up and get a drink of water
What agreements have you made with loved ones or coworkers that help you recenter when things are getting tense?
For more articles on centering practices, search judyringer.com. There are many.
Wishing you a centered day!