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Welcome to May's Ki Moments, and thank you
for subscribing.
One of the things that interests me most about
conflict is the tendency to resist it and the ways
in which this resistance causes me to miss a ki
moment - a key moment, when I might
respond with purpose and intention but do not.
Resistance is a reactive habit. When I resist, I'm on
automatic, and I fail to spot the opportunity to
respond with the conscious engagement of being fully
present.
Aikido - the martial art I practice and teach -
suggests that resistance escalates conflict. When I
push, the conflict pushes back. Aikido replaces
resistance with alignment and redirection. I change
my view from "this person is attacking me" to "this
person is offering energy that I can use."
Aikido (pronounced eye-key-doe) is Japanese for "the
way of blending with energy." Ki means
universal energy or life force. Ki Moments
are those in which we are fully aware of our life force
and our ability to influence our environment.
In aikido, the attack is inevitable, a part of life.
We can influence the outcome of the attack by
the way in which we engage and direct it. Will I
resist and create a contest, ensuring a win-lose
outcome? Or will I practice aikido and transform the
attack into a gift of energy? How do I make these
choices when I am feeling attacked?
To begin:
- Have a positive and useful purpose.
Without a purpose to guide us in the conflict, we end
up falling back on habitual patterns of reaction.
Refocusing on purpose answers the question "What
am I really going for here?" and directs the conflict
toward a useful outcome.
- Practice skills and techniques that move us
toward our purpose. We have reactive habits
that - in the heat of the moment - take us away
from the goal. Changing our conflict "habits" requires
skill building, practice and persistent application.
My work focuses on bringing aikido principles to life
in "off the mat" scenarios - the life "attacks" that we
experience in the workplace, in our relationships, and
in difficult life events that can occur at any time.
How can we turn daily conflicts into life teachers?
Just by asking the question, we begin to
transform conflict moments into ki moments
and
attacks into energy we can use to build the kinds of
home, work, and community environments we want
to live in.
Read about a student's "Real Life" Ki Moment in the
next story ...
Good ki!
| Real Life - Jane's Ki Moment |
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From a workshop participant who prefers to remain
anonymous:
Things had not been going well at work. I'd lost my
top performer, and the rest of my team was making
mistakes left and right. The stress of having to pick
up our missing teammate's work and manage the
team's mistakes was affecting me mentally and
emotionally. I was having trouble sleeping, thinking
instead about what I could say to my team about
their poor performance.
The morning of our weekly meeting, I woke up in a
bad mood, after another restless night. I just wanted
to scream at my team to get their act together. On
the way to work, however, I tried to think. I knew if I
went into the meeting with these negative feelings, it
would only make matters worse, no matter what
words I chose.
So I asked myself "What would I do if I were on
the mat in aikido?" I saw myself surrounded by
multiple attackers. In aikido we learn to find our
center and to be strong and balanced in the face of
conflict. We also learn to welcome the attack and
thank our partners for their energy. In aikido, our
partners are not out to hurt us; they are there to
help us learn.
That was when I had my "Ki Moment." I
realized that my team was not working against me or
trying to undermine me. We were all there to do a job
and face the challenges together. I took those few
minutes in the car to take some deep breaths and
find my center. I focused on welcoming the energy I
knew my group would bring to the meeting and on
redirecting that energy without letting it get to me.
At the meeting I tried to stay relaxed and centered.
It went better than expected, and we started making
plans on how to manage the workload without our
star teammate. Gradually our work atmosphere has
improved.
I think this "Ki Moment" was a turning point for
me and my team. Rather than viewing them
as "attackers," I now try to welcome their energy,
and we are leaning to solve our problems together.
To learn more about transforming resistance into
usable energy, read Judy's new book: Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in
Daily Conflict.
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| Book Signing and Presentation on Unlikely Teachers |
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If you live in the Portsmouth area, come to a
presentation and book signing on May 25, at River
Run Bookstore, 7 Commercial Alley, Portsmouth, NH.
At 7 PM, Judy will give a 45-minute presentation on
conflict transformation, and autograph copies of her
new book, Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in
Daily Conflict. Learn about transforming
conflict, have fun, and leave centered and energized.
For more information: email
judy@judyringer.com
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| Impossible Challenges |
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"The impossible challenges of life are the best
teachers."
- Amy Mindell
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| Simple Habits that Transform |
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My friends Sandy Davis and Marion Freiberg are
offering a program on how to put into practice three
powerful daily habits to revitalize body, mind, and
spirit. Their program begins on May 22, and consists
of 5 two-hour workshops and 2 follow-up
tele-conferences on Monday evenings from 7-9 pm,
in Amesbury, MA. Fee: $150
Sandy and Marion are
great teachers, and I know you'll benefit. For more
information or to register: 978-562-1336.
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| Aikido - The Martial Art |
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Many of the principles reflected in Ki Moments
come from aikido, the Japanese martial art that
teaches self-defense through the redirection of
energy.
If you're interested in learning aikido, Portsmouth
Aikido is an ongoing martial arts school located at the
Seacoast Family Y in Portsmouth. Classes are held on
Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7:45 p.m., Fridays at
6:45 p.m., and Sundays at 1:00 and 2:15 p.m. You
can stop by anytime and watch a class.
The next Aikido Beginner Class will start
May 21. The six-week course will run
through June 25, from 1:00 to 2:00 p.m. each
Sunday. The cost is $65.00 per person for the course
and includes a Portsmouth Aikido t-shirt. Anyone
aged 12 or older is welcome.
Learn
more about Portsmouth Aikido
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| Contact Information |
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Judy Ringer
Power & Presence Training
76 Park Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801
voice: 603.431.8560
website:
www.judyringer.com
Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training,
a Portsmouth, NH company specializing in unique
workshops to help you and your organization manage
conflict, communicate effectively, and co-create a
more positive work environment. E-mail Judy at
judy@judyringer.com for a
free initial meeting to discuss your training needs.
Ki (from Ai-ki-do) is Japanese for life energy.
Ki Moments is a complimentary monthly
"e-zine" with tips and how-to articles to help you
manage the key moments in your life.
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