"If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind."
--The Dalai Lama

There's a new event in the neighborhood. Every day around 3:30 pm, a neighbor with a new drum set begins practicing -- at full volume. The drummer must be on his deck or screened porch, because there doesn't seem to be any buffer.

Sometimes he practices with a background tape turned up as loudly as I imagine it can be. The combined effect is a bit like Jimi Hendrix on a very bad day and is hard to ignore, especially on warm days when my windows are open. As I sit at my home office computer, trying to compose sage advice, some days I have to concentrate pretty hard.

The music is so loud neighbors three blocks away can hear it. On occasion I hear shouts of "Shut up!!" from nearby homeowners. And I've received emails from others (Where is that drumming coming from? How do you stand it?)

It's pretty interesting as a phenomenon. I mean does this person have any regard for the impact his practice is having on the rest of the neighborhood? Is he aware and doing it anyway? Couldn't he practice in the basement? Does he enjoy being heard, like those cars that go by with the bass so pumped that your own car vibrates if you happen to be nearby?

At first I was outraged, amazed, and disconcerted. How rude! How inconsiderate! Does he think he's the only person on the planet? What if babies are sleeping or people (like me!) are trying to concentrate?

But as my anxiety and frustration increased, I asked myself if there was something I was willing to do to change things instead of just complaining, which tends to cast me in the role of victim. I don't like imagining myself that way. So I think, well, what are my options here, if I don't like what's happening? In this case, I came up with:

1. Do nothing and continue to complain.
2. Change my thinking so that the event no longer bothers me.
3. Go over to my neighbor's house and engage the energy; in other words, talk to the drummer and explain the impact of the sound on me and my work.
4. Call the police and report a neighborhood disturbance.

I chose Option #2. The catalyst was the idea of "neighborhood." In neighborhoods there is noise. A couple of summers ago, my next-door neighbor took up the saxophone, and I could hear him practicing scales and simple tunes. The sound wasn't always beautiful, but there was something nice about it. It made me feel part of the human family.

What was the difference here? Different sound, different volume, and different music created a very different impact at first. But thinking about neighborhood helped me change my attitude toward the event. Suddenly the outdoor drumming fanatic was not an ogre. I felt kind of lucky to live in a neighborhood where people felt they could express their creative energy.

Now when the drum sounds start rolling through the air, I listen for a moment, smile to myself, and resume my work. I'm still amazed, but I'm no longer outraged or disconcerted. Funny how it no longer interrupts my focus. Funny, and cool.

If Option #2 hadn't worked, I would have chosen #3 next and talked to him -- and that is still an option. Stay tuned. But so far I like this new planet. And I hope he continues to practice!

For more articles like this one, visit the Ki Moments Archives page and use the search engine in the right margin.

I frequently receive notes from workshop participants about their Ki Moments. For example ...

"Judy ... Just wanted to let you know I had the opportunity to practice centering today when my boss started finding fault and being generally difficult. I centered myself and found that her words did not affect me as they usually do, and I did not get flustered and start doubting and second-guessing myself. I did feel strong, and she seemed to sense it and back off also. Amazing. It's almost like you are looking down on yourself from outside."

I'm starting a new project - a CD of Ki Moments stories, quotations, and songs that lift the spirit, encourage centered reflection, and support ongoing practice.

It would be great if I could include some of your Ki Moments. It might be a moment preparing for a workplace conversation or a family moment that strengthened a relationship or resolved a conflict.

If you have one you'd like to share, please email me at judy@judyringer.com.

Please visit JudyRinger.com to learn more about our Fall Public Workshops on:

• * Unlikely Teachers with Judy Ringer and Joy Jacobs
  (November 13)
• * The Magic of Conflict (December 11)

Learn more and register here.

Would you like to nourish body, mind, and spirit at the same time? My friend and colleague, Joy Jacobs, has created some sweet and intelligent recipes for "cooking" up our life experiences in useful and positive ways. Healthy recipes for hummus, chicken noodle soup, sweet relish, and more lead the reader to even more nourishing food for thought in short articles like "The Rich Hummus of Failure" and "Relish the Day."

Joy will be teaching a workshop with me in November ( Unlikely Teachers, Nov. 13). She's great and you'll love her book!

In a Pickle? is $10.00 plus shipping. To order your copy call Joy at 603-924-7008.

Many of the principles reflected in Ki Moments come from Aikido, the Japanese martial art that teaches self-defense through the redirection of energy.

If you're interested in practicing Aikido and you live locally, Portsmouth Aikido is an ongoing martial arts school at the Seacoast Y in Portsmouth. Classes are held on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. You can also stop by anytime and watch a class.

Beginner Classes meet from 1:00 to 2:00 p.m. each Sunday. Anyone aged 12 or older is welcome. Gift certificates available!

For more information, visit the Portsmouth Aikido Website

Judy Ringer
Power & Presence Training
76 Park Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801
voice: 603.431.8560
website: www.judyringer.com

Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, a Portsmouth, NH company specializing in unique workshops to help you and your organization manage conflict, communicate effectively, and co-create a more positive work environment. E-mail Judy at judy@judyringer.com for a free initial meeting to discuss your training needs.

Ki (from Ai-ki-do) is Japanese for life energy. Ki Moments is a complimentary monthly "e-zine" with tips and how-to articles to help you manage the key moments in your life.

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