"Go ahead. Play. Let me see you run!" Mimi cheered us on. I was seven or eight years old, playing with my cousins in the back yard of my grandmother's house in Oak Park, Illinois. Mimi (my Aunt Mary) was probably 30-something at the time and in her wheelchair, where she'd been since a spinal disease struck at age thirteen.

She loved to see us run and play. Occasionally, when she was out of her chair, we'd ask if we could sit in it and wheel ourselves around. She always said, "No, use your legs! Be happy you can walk and run. Go ahead, let me see you."

Her bright love, affection, humor, and hugeness of spirit were contagious. She knew we were blessed, and we learned from her to appreciate the gifts we took for granted. Mimi knew she was blessed, too - with love, with family, and in particular with a mother and father who made sure she was cared for and lived a full life, when her doctors said she would not. Mimi lived a spirit of gratitude and shared it.

The pastor of my church, Dawn, says that we teach gratitude by having gratitude; that it is a gift in itself to live with a grateful heart. I'm thankful to have had wonderful role models growing up, people like Mimi, who taught gratitude by being grateful.

Who are you thanking today? Who are you grateful to? For? How many blessings can you count before you fall asleep? What seven- or eight-year-old is watching you and learning how to feel grateful, happy, and blessed?

It's November -- the season of Thanksgiving. Go ahead. Be Thankful.

LISTEN to Judy sing "Count Your Blessings."

I'm always looking for good models to address difficult situations and conversations. In her book, Fierce Conversations, Susan Scott says it's important to pay "fierce attention" to how we talk to one another, since we achieve success in work and life "one conversation at a time."

One of her suggestions is to confront the situation directly with an opening statement, then move into Interaction and Problem Solving. These steps are more fully described in her book:

Opening Statement:

1. Name the issue.
2. Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change.
3. Describe your emotions about this issue.
4. Clarify what is at stake.
5. Identify your contribution to this problem.
6. Indicate your wish to resolve the issue.
7. Invite your partner to respond.


Interaction:


8. Inquire into your partner's views. Use paraphrasing and a perception check. Dig for full understanding; don't be satisfied with the surface. Make sure your partner knows that you fully understand and acknowledge his or her position and interests.


Resolution:


9. What have we learned? Where are we now? Has anything been left unsaid that needs saying? What is needed for resolution? How can we move forward from here, given our new understanding?

Make a new agreement and determine how you will hold each other responsible for keeping it.

What could be better than a gift of Centered Presence?

My book, Unlikely Teachers, offers stories, practices and inspiration on how to come back to your best self and transform the challenges of life into life teachers.

RiverRun Bookstore -- our local independent bookseller at 20 Congress Street in Portsmouth -- is featuring signed copies of Unlikely Teachers this month with a special display, so if you live near Portsmouth -- stop in, buy a book, and tell them Judy sent you.

RiverRun Bookstore

If you don't live in the area, take advantage of our Special Holiday Website Pricing at JudyRinger.com

Someone I'm really grateful to know is my assistant, Cindy Morse. Cindy is a Virtual Assistant and completes all my work from her home office. She's efficient, knowledgeable, on time, and upbeat. I always feel like I'm her only client (and I know I'm not). I write Ki Moments, but Cindy is responsible for making sure it reaches you every month - a very important job.

Thank you, Cindy!

If you need help with your business, meet Cindy here!

Many of the principles reflected in Ki Moments come from Aikido, the Japanese martial art that teaches self-defense through the redirection of energy.

If you're interested in practicing Aikido and you live locally, Portsmouth Aikido is an ongoing martial arts school at the Seacoast Y in Portsmouth. Classes are held on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. You can also stop by anytime and watch a class.

The next Aikido Beginner Class starts November 18. The eight-week course runs through Jan.6, from 1:00 to 2:00 p.m. each Sunday. The cost is $95.00 per person for the course and includes a Portsmouth Aikido t-shirt. Anyone aged 12 or older is welcome. Gift certificates can purchased by email at jringer@portsmouthaikido.com.

Visit the Portsmouth Aikido Website

Judy Ringer
Power & Presence Training
76 Park Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801
voice: 603.431.8560
website: www.judyringer.com

Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, a Portsmouth, NH company specializing in unique workshops to help you and your organization manage conflict, communicate effectively, and co-create a more positive work environment. E-mail Judy at judy@judyringer.com for a free initial meeting to discuss your training needs.

Ki (from Ai-ki-do) is Japanese for life energy. Ki Moments is a complimentary monthly "e-zine" with tips and how-to articles to help you manage the key moments in your life.

If you enjoy our news and stories, feel free to share them with friends or colleagues. Use our "FORWARD" link below to pass it along with our thanks!

email: judy@judyringer.com

phone: 603-431-8560

web: http://www.judyringer.com